A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went...
Two 80 year old men are driving down the road when they hear the Ex-Lax commercial end with the statement: "It makes you feel young again." John looks at Sylvester and says, "We need to...
A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the...
A customer whose hair kept falling out complained to his barber. "That stuff you gave me," he cried, "it's terrible! You said three bottles of it would make my hair grow, but nothing's...
A lady manager of a big reputed office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into her office. “What is your name?" was the first thing she asked the new guy. "John," the...
I know that it sounds too good to be true, but ... The police busted a man selling “Secret Formula” tablets he claimed gave eternal youth. When going through the files, the police noticed...
A wife awoke early one morning to the sounds of her husband angrily banging around pots and pans in the kitchen. When she goes downstairs, she sees that he is looking for something to eat but, more...
Four older women are sitting around playing Bridge. The first woman says, "You know girls, I have known you all a long time and there is something I must get off my chest. I am a kleptomaniac....
A man arrives at the theatre to see the latest production only to learn that it is completely sold out. He finds an usher and pleads with him, "You must help me, I am a huge theatre fan....
Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared. "Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled....
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex."...
A middle-aged businessman took a young woman half his age as his wife. The fantasy of having a young woman in his bed soon became a nightmare when he found that he could not last long enough to...
A teacher said to her class one day, 'Okay children, today I am going to teach you a new word and when I tell you what it means, you can all write a story using the new word. Do you all understand?'...
Old Aunt Cora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her troublesome constipation. "It's terrible," she said to the doctor. "I haven't moved my bowels in more than a...
A group of senior citizen ladies were touring an Army base, and part of the tour included a meal at the chow hall. After Sergeant Ramsey showed the ladies the barracks, drill field, exercise area,...
A fat girl went into a cafe and ordered two slices of apple pie with four scoops of ice cream cover with lashings of raspberry sauce and piles of chopped nuts. 'Would you like a cherry on the top ?'...
Apple announced today the development of a microchip. It can be implanted into a woman’s breast and play music. The iTit will cost £399 and is regarded as a major breakthrough. This is...
