A woman phones up her husband at work for a chat. Says He: "I'm sorry honey but I'm up to my neck in work today" Says She: "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you...
A jelly baby walks in to a bar and starts talking to a smartie. After a few beers the smartie says: 'A bunch of us are heading to that new club. Fancy tagging along?' 'No thanks, 'the jelly baby...
On the first day of their Honeymoon, the very naive virgin bride slipped into a sexy but sweet nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed. She found that her new Christian husband had...
A guy was on a business trip and he's staying in this fancy hotel. When he goes up to his room there's a sign near the bed that says "Try our Oriental Massage". So he rings down to the...
When the man and wife got into bed for some lovemaking one night, instead of responding she was complaining about economic conditions of the world. "Everything is going up," she whined....
I have just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Could only use it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick. It's great though. It provides me with everything I need KitKats, Mars Bars,...
A guy walks into a bookstore. Not looking for anything in particular. On his way to the back of the store, he spots something of interest. A book with a very interesting title, "Dating for the...
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the misbehaving that was going on. So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.. When the angel returned, he told God,...
A Man in went into a bar and asked for 30 martinis in a bucket. "What?" questioned the bartender, "Why would you want so many martinis?” "My horse likes them," replied...
A homeless guy is travelling down a country lane, tired and hungry he comes across a Pub called the "George and the Dragon." Although it's late and the Pub is closed he knocks on the door....
Mrs Hamilton-smythe was giving an upper-crust party and had hired Mary, a girl recently come as a maid. As Mary was setting up the tea service, Mrs Hamilton-smythe told her to be certain that there...
A woman in a diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She'd made her family's favourite cake over the weekend, she reported, and they'd eaten half of it at dinner. The next day, she said,...
A young woman wasn't feeling well, and asked one of her co-workers to recommend a physician. "I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. Five hundred pounds for the first visit,...
The homeowner was delighted with the way Charlie had done all the paintwork on his house. "You did a great job," he said as he handed Charlie his money. "Also, in order to thank-you,...
The little girl was so proud of her birthday presents, her first watch and her first perfume. She really made a pest of herself throughout the morning, going up to all the relatives and sticking that...
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counselling came up. "Oh, we’ll never need that. My wife and I have a great relationship,"...
A Husband and Wife, Both were very happy over the twelve pound baby boy that was born to them. Mr. Brown who could not conceal his delight, called up the editor of a famous newspaper and reported that...
A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later..."Da-ad..." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights...
A rather handsome mature gentleman was chatting up a young lady at a party. He suggested they retire to his place of residence where he would have mad sex with her in the kitchen, the dining room, the...