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marval

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marval

Glasses

An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new pair of glasses. The Captain looked in his book of record and said, 'But you just got a new pair last month!' 'Yes sir, b.. b.. but they were...
20:47 Tue 09th Aug 20116 answers, last by albaqwerty 21:04 Tue 09th Aug 2011
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marval

Again

A young woman was in the hospital, recovering from major surgery. She hated being stuck in the tiny little room all day and to make matters worse, the daily routine was starting to get to her. Every...
15:08 Sat 06th Aug 20112 answers, last by piggynose 15:11 Sat 06th Aug 2011
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marval

Can do

An elderly lady was stopped to pull into a parking space when a young man in his new red Mercedes went around her and parked in the space she was waiting for. The little old lady was so upset that she...
10:35 Fri 05th Aug 2011
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marval

Wait

A fellow, reflecting upon his ancestry one day, determined to go to Russia for a visit. Why not? Must be an interesting place. However when he tried to do some business in the black-market. He was...
10:27 Thu 04th Aug 20111 answer, last by ichkeria 10:39 Mon 15th Aug 2011
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marval

Oops blonde

A blonde went to a flight school insisting that she wanted to learn to fly. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter. He...
10:08 Tue 02nd Aug 2011
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marval

Duck

An American tourist was lunching in a restaurant in China where the specialty was duck. The waiter explained each dish as he brought it to the table. "This is the breast of the duck; this is the...
16:43 Sun 31st Jul 20114 answers, last by Nousacy 03:11 Thu 18th Aug 2011
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marval

With appologies to all Yorkshire folk.

They have a new way of using Ecstasy in Yorkshire, They Inject it into the mouth They call it E by gum But there's also the chap who takes his cat to the vet and says, "Right lad, I needs to talk...
16:51 Sat 30th Jul 201128 answers, last by Avatar 16:24 Mon 01st Aug 2011
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marval

Eggs

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, if they have eggs, get 6." A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The...
22:02 Fri 29th Jul 20114 answers, last by boxtops 06:09 Sat 30th Jul 2011
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marval

Seal

A family enter a large department store in a prodigious area of London. After browsing the store for several moments they purchase some goods and head for the large counter at the front of the store....
18:34 Thu 28th Jul 20115 answers, last by boxtops 19:20 Sun 31st Jul 2011
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marval

Judge

"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant. "You have, Your Honour," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last...
15:04 Wed 27th Jul 20112 answers, last by Postdog 15:51 Wed 27th Jul 2011
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marval

Weird

I had a weird dream last night I dreamt that I had written “Lord of the Rings” I was just Tolkien in my sleep...
16:57 Tue 26th Jul 20114 answers, last by marval 18:25 Tue 26th Jul 2011
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marval

Oops

A woman was sure that her husband was cheating on her, and having an affair with the maid. So she laid down a trap. One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend and didn't tell the...
13:55 Mon 25th Jul 201110 answers, last by Sagz 21:46 Mon 25th Jul 2011
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marval

Doc

A man goes into the doctor. He says, "Doc, you have got to check my leg. Something is wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!" The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the...
14:23 Sat 23rd Jul 20112 answers, last by marval 14:53 Sat 23rd Jul 2011
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marval

Lend

“Hey, Mum,” asked Ralph. “Will you lend me five pounds?” “Certainly not.” She said. “If you do,” he went on, “I will tell you what dad said to the...
17:32 Fri 22nd Jul 20114 answers, last by Bummle 13:24 Wed 27th Jul 2011
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marval

Woodpeckers

A Mississippi woodpecker and a Texas woodpecker were in Mississippi arguing about which state had the toughest trees to peck. The Mississippi woodpecker said that they had a tree that no woodpecker...
15:03 Wed 20th Jul 20117 answers, last by Hopkirk 22:09 Thu 21st Jul 2011
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marval

Dear Doctor

Dear Doctor, I wish to have a vasectomy. My reasons are numerous and after being married for seven years, and having a child each year, I know that contraceptives are absolutely useless. After getting...
14:27 Sun 17th Jul 20114 answers, last by Sagz 22:07 Mon 25th Jul 2011
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marval

Life in the Australian Army

Dear Mum & Dad, I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the station - tell them to get in bl00dy quick smart before the jobs are...
12:03 Sat 16th Jul 20116 answers, last by joekends 13:45 Mon 18th Jul 2011
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marval

Scaring

A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed,sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says....
21:26 Fri 15th Jul 20111 answer, last by Buenchico 23:16 Fri 15th Jul 2011
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marval

Where is it?

A wealthy old lady decided to go on a photo safari in Africa. She took her faithfull pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund...
18:25 Thu 14th Jul 20115 answers, last by sophie_1003 16:33 Fri 15th Jul 2011
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marval

Good Manners

During a good manners and etiquette class being held for young children, the teacher says to her students: "If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a...
21:20 Wed 13th Jul 2011

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