A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room, she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out...
Two violinists make a pact that whoever dies first, he will contact the other and tell him what life in Heaven is like. Poor Max has a heart attack and dies. He manages to make contact with Abe the...
Boris, a Russian man saves his roubles for twenty years to buy a new car. After choosing the model and options he wants, he's not the least bit surprised or even concerned to learn that it will take...
A beer company decided to make a new beer, very modern and non-traditional. They looked at all the ingredients, and decided to keep with malted barley and water, but do away with hops, because the...
There was once a great actor, who had a problem. He could no longer remember his lines. Finally after many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again. The...
A man visiting Scotland one day drove through Fife. Feeling hungry, he stopped at a Chinese restaurant he was passing. The food he ate there was by far the tastiest food he had ever eaten, so when he...
A well-known professor of music was accustomed to receiving letters from amateur musicians asking for auditions. He always ignored them. But one old lady was particularly persistent. Over and over...
It's Friday afternoon and the boss calls his salesman into the office and says that today they could close the big deal he's been working on. But it means the salesman must drive to Birmingham...
A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, "How was I born?" "Well honey..." said the slightly prudish mother, "the stork brought you to us."...
Have you ever wondered where and how yodelling began? Many years ago a man was travelling through the mountains of Switzerland. Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went...
A child was playing with her friends in the playground. Running around and dancing to music, when she tripped and fell heavily on a kerbstone and hurt her Arm. She was quickly taken to the hospital...
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's...
Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a wanted ad for an accountant. He was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a three-man business. "I need someone with an accounting...
A man raised animals on a small farm in the countryside. The farm was a peaceful place. Then, one day a pig was found murdered in the barn. Upset, the farmer was determined to find the killer. The...
A workman was killed at a construction site. The police began questioning a number of the other workers. Based on past brushes with the law, many of these workers were considered prime suspects. They...
A six year old girl came home from school and said to her grandmother, “Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to...
Scientists have developed a new pill that will now help impotent men who are also hay fever sufferers. By combining Allegra to take care of the allergies, and Viagra for the impotency, it gives you an...
How an idiot wins a quiz. Q. What is a narrow passage between two mountains called? A. Pass Correct. Q. A surprise sexual advance is sometimes known as making a what? A. Pass Correct. Q.What is the...
In the middle of the table is a round food tray with five kinds of Fruits on it. They are: a. Apple b. Banana c. Strawberry d. Peach e. Orange Which fruit will you choose? Please think very carefully...