An English professor wrote the words, “A woman without her man is nothing” on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: “A woman, without her...
Dear Thomas, I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I...
Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced "One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don't worry we...
Paddy wanted to be an accountant, so he went for an aptitude test. Tester: If I give you two rabbits, two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Paddy: Seven! Tester: No,...
There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet. After a while one of the first two turns to the...
"Dad, can I ask you something?" "Sure! What about?" "You see, I'm already fourteen and...I think It’s just proper that I should own one." "And what is this...
Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked...
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what's your problem?" Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the 1st...
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says. "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?" The monks...
An old blacksmith realized he was soon going to quit working so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of...
A little old lady had led an extremely sheltered life and never left the village she was born in. One morning she awoke to find three elephants (which had escaped from a nearby zoo) eating the...
A parts manager for a small electronics shop, had occasion to order part No. 669 from the factory. But when he received it he noticed that someone had sent part No. 699 instead. Furious at the...
Mr. Smith comes to his wife, "Honey, could you be sewing on a wee button that's come off of my fly? I cannot button up my trousers." "Oh Dear ... I've got my hands in the sink, go up...
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep...
Two voices, one male and one female, overheard on a plane: "I think everyone's asleep, let's go! This one's empty ... no-one's looking... you go in first. It's a bit cramped - let me sit down....
Sorry this story made me laugh, should not childrens programmes be just that. They are only puppets after all.
http://news.sky.com/h...news/article/16048752...
Sadie and Yetta, two widows, are talking Sadie: 'That nice Morris Finkleman asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him...
There was an expectant father who had spent quite some time waiting for the offspring to arrive - at his in-laws place. As his money was tight he tells his father-in-law -' When my son comes, do not...
