It was a small town and a policeman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a second hand car dealer’s yard, he came upon two old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked...
Mr. White, the biology professor, at a posh suburban girl's school, asked during class, "Miss Smith, would you name the organ in the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to...
A farmer and his wife had worked hard, and scrimped and saved to send their son to college. As soon as he had enrolled, he started to grow a beard. Next he grew a large moustache and sideburns. Being...
A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed...
One day a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 mph when he noticed that there was a three-legged chicken running alongside his car. He stepped on the gas but at 50 miles...
A woman walks into the doctor's surgery and says, doctor I can't stop singing these two songs, is there anything wrong with me? What songs are they? the doctor asks The woman says, Delilah and The...
A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, ''I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she...
There once was a third grader named Jimmy. Every time the teacher would say something, Jimmy would say, "How about that!" One day, the teacher said, "And then George Washington crossed...
One day David Cameron and Nick Clegg walk into a cafe. A waitress walks up to them and asks if she can take their order. David leans close to her and says, "Honey, can I have a quickie?" The...
Make sure you get the right insurance, for the sex you are having' Please find a list of companies below, catering for most tastes. Sex with your wife :- Legal and General. Sex on the telephone :-...
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do...
A lady was walking her poodle (called "Chu-chu") through Regent's Park zoo. As she was passing the lions' cage one of the beasts passed a paw through the bars and pulled the poor animal...
A Chinese mother was questioning her 3 daughters on what they wanted in a husband The Eldest said "A tall handsome man with 3 dragons on his chest" Second daughter said "A tall handsome...
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard,"...
What money can do for you. It can buy a house But not a home It can buy a bed But not sleep It can buy a clock But not time It can buy a book But not knowledge It can buy a position But not respect It...
A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fitted under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of school, still with the...
A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? His mother had an idea: "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card...
One Sunday morning, the minister told the congregation that he was going to say a series of words, and he wanted them to sing the song that came to mind, when he said each word. The first word he said...
A sign was hung in an office window. It read: Help wanted. Must type 70 words a minute. Must be computer literate. Must be bilingual. An equal opportunity employer. A dog was ambling down the street...
