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marval

Expecting

A young private sought permission from his Commanding Officer to leave camp the following weekend. "You see," he explained, "my wife's expecting." "Oh..." said the...
18:28 Wed 28th Dec 20111 answer, last by Starbuckone 21:29 Wed 28th Dec 2011
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marval

The frog

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant...
14:59 Wed 28th Dec 20113 answers, last by Capeman 15:56 Wed 28th Dec 2011
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Horses

At Heathrow Airport in England, a 300-foot red carpet was stretched out to Air Force One and President Obama strode to a warm but dignified handshake from the Queen. They rode in a silver 1934 Bentley...
19:18 Tue 27th Dec 20115 answers, last by Starbuckone 01:06 Wed 28th Dec 2011
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Oh dear

Aboard a flight from L.A. to New York, Grandma Esther was taking her very first flight. They had only been aloft a few minutes when the elderly lady complained to the stewardess that her ears were...
11:00 Tue 27th Dec 20115 answers, last by Starbuckone 01:04 Wed 28th Dec 2011
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marval

The Best "Out-Of-Office" E-Mail Auto-Replies:

1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. 2: I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you. 3: You are receiving this automatic...
17:54 Mon 26th Dec 20112 answers, last by maggiebee 19:59 Mon 26th Dec 2011
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marval

Some Important Laws Which Newton Forgot to State

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now. LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one. LAW OF...
14:48 Fri 23rd Dec 20118 answers, last by boxtops 21:31 Tue 27th Dec 2011
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Physical weakness

The little sexy housewife was built so well that the TV repairman couldn't keep his eyes off of her. Every time she came in the room, he'd jerk his neck right out of joint looking at her. When he'd...
20:13 Thu 22nd Dec 20113 answers, last by old-wos-is-name 22:01 Thu 22nd Dec 2011
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marval

Where?

A Jewish man and a Chinese man were conversing. The Jewish man commented upon what a wise people the Chinese are. "Yes," replied the Chinese man, "Our culture is over 4,000 years old....
16:27 Thu 22nd Dec 20113 answers, last by rowanwitch 16:38 Thu 22nd Dec 2011
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marval

With apologies to all women

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell...
19:28 Wed 21st Dec 20115 answers, last by annadomino 00:28 Thu 22nd Dec 2011
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marval

Bright Star

It was the doctor's last patient consultation of Christmas Eve. A mother came in with her young daughter and asked if he would examine her because she had been showing some strange symptoms, including...
16:36 Tue 20th Dec 20112 answers, last by Everhelpful 21:00 Tue 20th Dec 2011
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marval

Is this you?

Happily Addicted to the Web (to the tune of "Winter Wonderland") Doorbell rings, I'm not list'nin', From my mouth, drool is glist'nin', I'm happy--although My boss let me go-- Happily...
15:18 Tue 20th Dec 20113 answers, last by Starbuckone 00:41 Wed 21st Dec 2011
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Can't resist

This weekend while shopping in a local toy store, I came across a long line of people waiting for a promised shipment of dolls from Mattel. As I scanned the line, I noticed a friend waiting with all...
11:20 Sun 18th Dec 20118 answers, last by missprim 20:53 Sun 18th Dec 2011
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Lying

Lee, A seven-year-old boy, was asked to say thanks for the Christmas dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. Lee began his prayer, thanking God for his Mommy, Daddy, brothers,...
16:40 Sat 17th Dec 20114 answers, last by maggiebee 00:20 Sun 18th Dec 2011
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Useful

Here are ten useful phrases for responding to Christmas presents you would rather not have received: 1. Thanks a lot. 2. My word! What a gift. 3. Well, well, well 4. If I hadn't put on so much weight...
19:39 Fri 16th Dec 20114 answers, last by DTcrosswordfan 00:28 Sat 17th Dec 2011
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Christmas Prayers

A few days before Christmas, two young brothers were spending the night at their grandparent's house. When it was time to go to bed, and anxious to do the right thing, they both knelt down to say...
17:44 Fri 16th Dec 20113 answers, last by wildwood 00:20 Sat 17th Dec 2011
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Mummy

The child was a typical four-year-old girl -- cute, inquisitive, and bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his...
22:50 Thu 15th Dec 20113 answers, last by Starbuckone 01:14 Fri 16th Dec 2011
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Text message

She sends him the following text message My love If you're sleeping, send me your dreams If you're smiling, send me your smile If you're crying, send me your tears I love you He replies: I'm in the...
22:27 Wed 14th Dec 20117 answers, last by wildwood 02:20 Thu 15th Dec 2011
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marval

No babies

A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand....
19:37 Wed 14th Dec 20111 answer, last by Starbuckone 21:44 Wed 14th Dec 2011
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marval

Because

There was a lady who immigrated in Canada and married a Canadian gentleman. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose...
22:22 Tue 13th Dec 20111 answer, last by Starbuckone 00:38 Wed 14th Dec 2011
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Stupid

John went to his friend's house unannounced, and said he wanted to spend the night. His friend was sorry that he could not offer him a whole room, so he said, "You can sleep on the floor in the...
18:23 Mon 12th Dec 20113 answers, last by notasyoungasiwas 16:38 Tue 13th Dec 2011

3121 to 3140 of 3998

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