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marval

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marval

A widowed lady

A widowed lady, Sarah, was sitting on a beach towel in Miami Beach, Florida. She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, spread his blanket on the sand nearby, and had begun reading a...
21:57 Wed 25th Jan 20123 answers, last by Starbuckone 23:12 Wed 25th Jan 2012
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marval

Ramblings of a Retired Mind

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. You know, I spent...
16:20 Wed 25th Jan 20122 answers, last by marval 21:57 Wed 25th Jan 2012
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marval

A Scotch with two drops of water

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.'...
22:22 Tue 24th Jan 20122 answers, last by McMouse 11:48 Wed 25th Jan 2012
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marval

Male Wisdom

When I was born, I was given a choice - A big pen!s or a good memory. I don't remember what I chose. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. A wife is a sex object. Every...
17:48 Mon 23rd Jan 20121 answer, last by tenrec 18:38 Wed 25th Jan 2012
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marval

Ploughing the land

A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the car...
22:25 Sun 22nd Jan 20122 answers, last by Old_Geezer 09:35 Mon 23rd Jan 2012
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marval

The Actor

An out-of-work actor gets a call from his agent one day. "I got you a job. It's a one-liner." "That's okay!" replies the actor, "I've been out of work for so long I'll take...
16:24 Sun 22nd Jan 20126 answers, last by marval 22:19 Mon 23rd Jan 2012
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marval

Notes from the Edge of Life

Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5. Sincerely, Unicorns Dear Twilight fans, Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them,...
22:28 Sat 21st Jan 20126 answers, last by flump1 12:14 Sun 22nd Jan 2012
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marval

Thrown out

Last night I got thrown out of a casino. Apparently I completely misunderstood the crap table....
18:23 Sat 21st Jan 2012
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marval

Old joke

With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman Bros and acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America this might be some good advice. For all of you with any money left, be...
15:54 Fri 20th Jan 20128 answers, last by SpikeyBush 01:07 Tue 31st Jan 2012
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marval

Letter to Microsoft

This letter is from a non computer literate person. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice. 1. After connecting to internet we planned to...
17:32 Thu 19th Jan 20126 answers, last by maggiebee 13:07 Fri 20th Jan 2012
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marval

Have you ever been tested like this before?

A college student needed a small two-hour course to fill his schedule and the only one available was wildlife Zoology. After one week, a test was held. The professor passed out a sheet of paper...
14:14 Wed 18th Jan 20122 answers, last by askyourgran 20:17 Wed 18th Jan 2012
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marval

Oops

"It was just a simple misunderstanding, your Honour," testified the man charged with indecent exposure. "Explain that statement!" demanded the Judge. "Well, you see, this girl...
18:12 Tue 17th Jan 20122 answers, last by missprim 18:30 Tue 17th Jan 2012
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marval

Two Bachelors

Two confirmed bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said one, "but I could never do anything with it." "Too much...
16:08 Tue 17th Jan 20123 answers, last by missprim 16:25 Tue 17th Jan 2012
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marval

I did

A Husband called home to his wife and said: "Darling, I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity...
22:47 Mon 16th Jan 20123 answers, last by missprim 01:27 Tue 17th Jan 2012
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marval

Doctors are priceless

Let me tell you about my doctor. He is very good.If you tell him you want a second opinion, he will go out and come in again. He treated one woman for yellow jaundice for three years before he...
15:59 Mon 16th Jan 20124 answers, last by EDDIE51 21:00 Tue 30th Apr 2013
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marval

Ladies take heed

If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports section. - Buy a dog If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of...
14:07 Sun 15th Jan 20123 answers, last by DTcrosswordfan 14:49 Mon 16th Jan 2012
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marval

Perfect man

After careful consideration and endless debate the perfect man has finally been named: MR. POTATO HEAD! He's tan! He's cute! He knows the importance of accessorizing. And if he looks at another girl,...
14:10 Sat 14th Jan 20122 answers, last by Zacs-Master 14:15 Sat 14th Jan 2012
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marval

Jam & Bubble Gum

An Australian man was having a coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him. The Australian politely ignored the American, who,...
20:18 Fri 13th Jan 20125 answers, last by coffeeboy 19:57 Thu 19th Jan 2012
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marval

What's that?

Paddy went to Canada to seek his fortune as a lumberjack. He met a foreman of a logging organization who offered to give him a job. "Now I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at least 100...
22:09 Thu 12th Jan 20123 answers, last by percypineapple 21:57 Fri 13th Jan 2012
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marval

Mike is dead.

Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did you hear the news - Mike is dead?" "Woah, what the hell happened to him?" "Well he was on his way over to my house the...
14:05 Wed 11th Jan 20124 answers, last by Zhukov 14:09 Wed 11th Jan 2012

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