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Patsy33

481 to 500 of 1971

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Patsy33
There are some lovely human beings out there.. https://www.metaspoon.com/stray-dogs-get-beds/...
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Patsy33
Someone keeps sending me flowers with the heads cut off. I think I have a stalker....
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Patsy33
They can clear off, if they think I'm putting my clocks back this weekend. It's darn well daylight robbery!...
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Patsy33
Apparently it’s good to talk to your plants. I tried to teach my flowers mathematics but they ended up with square roots....
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Patsy33
An American Indian introduced me to his wife. I asked what her name was. He replied, "Four horses". I said that was an unusual name, and asked, "What does it mean?"He said, Nag, Nag, Nag, Nag!......
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Patsy33
Anyone know what's happened to Calicogirl? Noticed she hasn't been on here for quite a while. Hope she is ok.
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Patsy33
Husband sat in his room throwing darts at his wife's photo but not even a single one hits the target. From the lounge wife asks: "What are you doing honey?" Husband: “Missing you"...
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Patsy33
A big row has broken out in the Irish Olympic synchronised diving team after Paddy accused Mick of copying him......
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Patsy33
My wife held the car door open for me. It would have been a nice gesture had we not been traveling at 70 mph!...
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Patsy33
Just watched a few minutes on a history channel, of German soldiers shooting Jewish men, women and children, under the command of Heinrich Himmler. It said he had never seen a dead body, and went to...
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Patsy33
Milliners are very irritable; they can get angry at the drop of a hat....
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Patsy33
Just think, if the two blokes in the band ABBA, were named Steve and Dave, they would have been called ASDA..
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Patsy33
I used to have an unhealthy obsession with plumbing parts but, after years of therapy, I finally got it out my cistern....
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Patsy33
When at the Dentist earlier, I was asked if I wanted to numb gum for small filling. I said I would. After injection, I felt very agitated, my heart was beating very fast. I asked Dentist to wait a...
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Patsy33
My wife says she's leaving me due to my obsession with cricket. I'll be honest, it's knocked me for six....
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Patsy33
When women get to a certain age they start accumulating cats. This is known as the many paws!...
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Patsy33
Felt uncomfotable driving through cemetery. My GPS suddenly blurted out, "You've reached your final destination"...
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Patsy33
Love it! https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-bristol-49999610/gwr-train-manager-a-hit-for-funny-announcements...
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Patsy33
Hi all, I was supposed to start my first radiation treatment today, at 12.30 pm. Just had a phone call to say, treatment is waiting on a signature from Consultant. If they can't get one, the treatment...
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Patsy33
Can't wait to see this tonight! Loved the first series. I found it so amusing. Brilliant cast. Anyone else watched this / enjoyed it? (BBC2 10.00pm)

481 to 500 of 1971

First Previous 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 Next Last