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Patsy33

421 to 440 of 1971

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Patsy33

How We Sleep

It's funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side, my brother sleeps on his back, my husband sleeps with everybody. That sort of thing.....
11:16 Thu 30th Jan 20208 answers, last by Theland 17:57 Fri 31st Jan 2020
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Patsy33

A Horse

The psychiatrist asks his patient: "Do you really think that you are a horse?" The patient: "Yes." The Doctor: "Ok, it will be a long and expensive therapy." The patient: "It's ok, I have enough...
11:22 Wed 29th Jan 202015 answers, last by Patsy33 17:02 Wed 29th Jan 2020
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Patsy33

I Named..

I named my two children Lager and Guinness. My wife is Bitter....
19:21 Mon 27th Jan 202014 answers, last by Chipchopper 18:28 Tue 28th Jan 2020
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Patsy33

My Mother

My Mother used to wash my hair in Lager. It wasn't until years later that I discovered I'd been Fostered......
18:53 Mon 27th Jan 20207 answers, last by Theland 09:04 Tue 28th Jan 2020
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Patsy33

Into Work..

I took my 8-year-old to the office on Take Your Kid to Work Day. As we were walking around, she starting crying and getting very cranky, so I asked her what was wrong. As my coworkers gathered round,...
12:33 Mon 27th Jan 20203 answers, last by Patsy33 14:19 Mon 27th Jan 2020
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Patsy33

I Have

I have lots of bum jokes if you like them. I have piles..
20:56 Sun 26th Jan 20206 answers, last by Hopkirk 09:09 Mon 27th Jan 2020
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Patsy33

Online Dating

I wanted to try online dating, so I clicked around until I saw someone I found attractive. We started chatting, and everything was going great, until she told me her career is "professional blood...
12:18 Sat 25th Jan 202011 answers, last by EmmaWhite 14:58 Thu 25th Feb 2021
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Patsy33

Unhealthy Obsession

My friend has an unhealthy obsession with ocean life. I told her to sea kelp...
16:27 Fri 24th Jan 20206 answers, last by retrocop 14:16 Sat 25th Jan 2020
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Patsy33

Vegan Rap...

What the hell?.... https://youtu.be/qACxfKB3iP4...
10:05 Thu 23rd Jan 20206 answers, last by Patsy33 14:35 Thu 23rd Jan 2020
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Patsy33

Play On Words

eg.. Gelatine: Device for cutting the heads off jelly babies Push: Sean Connery's cat. Your turn.....
20:11 Wed 22nd Jan 20207 answers, last by Patsy33 20:28 Sat 25th Jan 2020
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Patsy33

Detained

As an aspiring actor, I was somewhat surprised when I got detained by airport security today... All I said was that I was in town to shoot a pilot......
21:22 Tue 21st Jan 20209 answers, last by Patsy33 16:24 Wed 22nd Jan 2020
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Patsy33

Trial

A perpetual criminal offender is brought to the court house for trial. However the judge is a duck wearing robes and a powdered wig . The criminal is incensed, he shouts out "I will not be judged by a...
22:52 Sun 19th Jan 202023 answers, last by Chipchopper 21:18 Mon 20th Jan 2020
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Patsy33

T Shirt..

I found a nice boy's Ralph Lauren t shirt, while looking in a charity shop last week. It was age 11-12, £1.99, and in excellent condition. Seen my daughter in law just now and asked if it fit my...
19:00 Sat 18th Jan 20205 answers, last by Patsy33 19:18 Sat 18th Jan 2020
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Patsy33

Gin

My partner reckons I drink too much Gin. This came as a bit of a shock. I didn’t even realise I had a partner....
21:30 Thu 16th Jan 202012 answers, last by Patsy33 23:52 Thu 16th Jan 2020
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Patsy33

Cruise Ship

Two old men are sitting on the deck of a cruise ship. The first one asks, “Have you read Marx?” The other one replies, “Yes. I believe that comes from sitting on these wicker chairs.”...
18:06 Thu 16th Jan 20206 answers, last by Patsy33 23:11 Thu 16th Jan 2020
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Patsy33

Accusations..

My partner got onto me the other day, claiming I spent too much time moistening food while cooking Thinking the accusations as ridiculous, I asked: "Baste on what?"...
17:26 Wed 15th Jan 20208 answers, last by Chipchopper 17:44 Thu 16th Jan 2020
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Patsy33

Banned

I got banned from the secret cooking society… For spilling the beans....
18:49 Mon 13th Jan 202021 answers, last by Patsy33 18:02 Tue 14th Jan 2020
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Patsy33

Song

I'm writing a song about fishing, but it needs a good hook..
13:13 Sat 11th Jan 202011 answers, last by marval 17:02 Sun 12th Jan 2020
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Patsy33

Deadwater Fell

Has anyone watched this tonight, with David Tennant on channel 4? If so, what did you think?
22:22 Fri 10th Jan 202023 answers, last by Patsy33 14:27 Sat 18th Jan 2020
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Patsy33

A Sign

Walking past a farm, I saw a sign that said: 'Duck, eggs'. I thought: "That's a funny place for a comma" -then it hit me....
15:28 Thu 09th Jan 20205 answers, last by Chipchopper 13:52 Fri 10th Jan 2020

421 to 440 of 1971

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