Donate SIGN UP

Patsy33

581 to 600 of 1972

First Previous 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 Next Last

Avatar Image
Patsy33
My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them, “Just you wait!”...
Avatar Image
Patsy33
My job in genetic engineering is quite well paid, I made a monkey last week....
Avatar Image
Patsy33
While queuing up at Sainsbury's yesterday, my little 16 month old grandson started tugging on my long, thin chord like ties on my top. The funny thing was, as he pulled on it, he kept looking up at...
Avatar Image
Patsy33
I was going to post about my afternoon run but I was autocorrected to afternoon rum, so change of plans..
Avatar Image
Patsy33
My son asked me why I speak so softly around the house. I told him I was afraid the NSA were listening. He laughed, I laughed and Alexa laughed.....
Avatar Image
Patsy33
Who has seen both? Which do you think is the best. We want to watch one of the series and can't make up our minds! Any recommendations?
Avatar Image
Patsy33
My friend asked, "What do you mean, you're Corkasian?, Don't you mean Caucasion?" "No, I replied, My Mother is from a city in Ireland, and my Father's Japanese"...
Avatar Image
Patsy33
Can't believe it..Just got over this eye infection, about a week, now this morning, the other eye was all stuck up! There seems to be a lot about at the moment. Three members of the family have had...
Avatar Image
Patsy33
My partner has threatened to move out. Said I'm obsessed with gardening. I said, "Don't beat about the bush, is this a plot to get rid of me,?"...
Avatar Image
Patsy33
‘Son, I don’t think you’re cut out to be a mime.’ ‘Was it something I said?’ asks the son. ‘Yes.'”...
Avatar Image
Patsy33
I'm going to be entering the tightest hat competition. I hope I can pull it off......
Avatar Image
Patsy33
Today, my yoga instructor was so drunk, he put me in a awkward position..
Avatar Image
Patsy33
Recently in court, I was found guilty of being egotistical. I am appealing......
Avatar Image
Patsy33
My daughter went to GP surgery to pick repeated thyroid medication up (hypothyroidism) and was told it is no longer on repeated prescription! She's only got half a thyroid, as she had one removed...
Avatar Image
Patsy33
When I die, I want to be buried with all my records. It will be my vinyl resting place.....
Avatar Image
Patsy33
This is brilliant! https://youtu.be/IABRgZH12YA...
Avatar Image
Patsy33
I don't think I've got the job at Microsoft. They haven't replied to my telegram yet...
Avatar Image
Patsy33
My partner said if I take one more photo of her, she was leaving me. That's when I snapped!....
Avatar Image
Patsy33
We've never done this before, so all new to us. Going to Spain Monday for a week. Going to check in on line a bit earlier, with help of son in law. Then print off for boarding pass. The question is,...
Avatar Image
Patsy33
What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? Odor in the court. (I'll get me coat...)...

581 to 600 of 1972

First Previous 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 Next Last