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retrocop

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Philosophy And Ambiguity

FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH: 1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA......FLOOR. 2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANISATION. 3. IF MAN...
15:59 Fri 22nd Jul 2016
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Why Would Anyone Pay To Listen To This Foul Mouthed Untalented Prat

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/bob-geldof-in-spectacular-foul-mouthed-rant-at-125149047.html If he wishes to come here to insult the English and their choice to Brexit Why doesn't he (a)stay back in...
19:56 Thu 21st Jul 201632 answers, last by dannyk13 11:51 Fri 22nd Jul 2016
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Great Fire

Can anyone answer how many perished in the Great Fire of London? No cheating and looking it up. I am surprised at the answer.
17:43 Wed 20th Jul 2016147 answers, last by jno 23:01 Tue 26th Jul 2016
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Mother Leaves Baby In Car

Strong words of advice. Is that all? At least with dogs or cats the owner will get prosecuted by the RSPCA.?...
13:15 Wed 20th Jul 201640 answers, last by NoMercy 15:55 Wed 20th Jul 2016
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A Plumber Goes To Heaven

A plumber (The Royalty of all Trades) dies in a car accident on his 50th birthday and finds himself at the Pearly Gates. A brass band is playing, the angels are singing a beautiful hymn, there is a...
23:04 Tue 19th Jul 20163 answers, last by maggiebee 09:16 Wed 20th Jul 2016
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Donald Trump's Boeing 757

Fancy leaving this and downgrading to 'Airforce1'! https://www.youtube.com/embed/UZq3iCn2y74?rel=0...
13:13 Tue 19th Jul 201620 answers, last by Bazile 14:01 Tue 19th Jul 2016
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Hms Bronington

Does anyone recall that during his short command of HMS Bronington,a TON Class wooden minesweeper, the Prince of Wales ....err..crashed it whilst at the Con when docking it. Normally a naval commander...
00:11 Mon 18th Jul 20167 answers, last by zebo 22:03 Wed 20th Jul 2016
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Important Tax Return

This example shows the importance of accuracy in your tax return. HMRC has returned the Tax Return to a man in Evesham after he apparently answered one of the questions incorrectly. In response to the...
09:53 Sun 17th Jul 201617 answers, last by zebo 20:54 Mon 18th Jul 2016
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Svejk .where Is Our Good Friend

Hope he is OK. He seems to be missing out on a lot of cut and thrust at the moment. I miss his humour....
17:54 Fri 15th Jul 201626 answers, last by anneasquith 11:23 Sat 16th Jul 2016
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Spot The Wild Mushrooms

She wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak, but she had no mushrooms and no time to buy them. Her husband suggested, "Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms that are growing wild...
07:09 Fri 15th Jul 20164 answers, last by david small 18:23 Fri 15th Jul 2016
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Brussels In Flames Today

https://www.express.co.uk/news/world/689285/Explosion-fire-Brussels-huge-rips-Belgian-capital?ref=yfp Explosions heard. Could be those car bombs the French Intelligence predicted yesterday!!!...
11:45 Thu 14th Jul 20169 answers, last by retrocop 16:06 Thu 14th Jul 2016
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Joyeaux Bastille Day( In 18 Mins)

Vive le France!! Might have our own storming if the referendum is overturned. :-)...
22:41 Wed 13th Jul 20167 answers, last by DTCwordfan 06:14 Thu 14th Jul 2016
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Five (Fumf) Germans (Herrenvolk)

Subject: Fw: Fwd: FIVE GERMANS Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border. The Italian Customs Officer stops them and tells them "It'sa illegala to putta 5 people in a Quattro." "Vot...
22:35 Wed 13th Jul 201610 answers, last by Chipchopper 15:33 Thu 14th Jul 2016
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Teresa May

HMQ was delighted to accept Teresa May ,today ,to ask permission to form a new government. Mrs May informed Her Majesty that her first pledge was to Ban pre-shredded Cheese in packets. She intended to...
20:51 Wed 13th Jul 201614 answers, last by Chipchopper 15:37 Thu 14th Jul 2016
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New Pm Moves In On Wednesday

According to Mr Cameron on LBC news just now. Thats how you do it Labour. :-)...
15:16 Mon 11th Jul 201628 answers, last by Old_Geezer 19:26 Mon 11th Jul 2016
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Hotel Porn Channel

Vicar booking into a hotel asks the receptionist "Is the Porn channel in my room disabled?" "No," she replies "it's just regular porn you sicko."...
12:03 Mon 11th Jul 20161 answer, last by Gromit 12:32 Mon 11th Jul 2016
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Hearing Difficulty

A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. "Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor. "Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy slob and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair."...
12:01 Mon 11th Jul 20163 answers, last by chrissa1 16:45 Mon 11th Jul 2016
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Paddy And Murphy

So Paddy asks Murphy: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?" To which Murphy replies, "Well, if they fell forward they'd still be in the ***n' boat!"...
11:59 Mon 11th Jul 20163 answers, last by ummmm 12:06 Mon 11th Jul 2016
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Another Grovelling Labour Apology

Who would be a Labour minister let alone Prime Minister with this blob as your deputy? http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/tony-blair-forced-illegal-war-8387288...
23:08 Sat 09th Jul 201611 answers, last by Gromit 10:43 Mon 11th Jul 2016

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