News just in….Three cliff walkers have fallen to their deaths! What are the chances of them all having the same name? ___ I was kissing my girlfriend on the sofa the other night and she says to me,... ...
A dwarf was drinking in a bar when a sexy blonde walked up to him and said “I’ve always wanted to have sex with a little person” The dwarf replied “I’m sorry, but I’ve had women say that before,... ...
A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner. A local politician and member of the congregation was to give a speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say a few words... ...
"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant. "You have, Your Honour," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter." "Ah, yes,"... ...
QUIZ of the week is tonight at 6pm (British time) It only takes about 20 minutes and there's nothing to pay and nothing to download. https://stin.to/f0blx# ...
Teacher said to Tommy "Have you got a brother ?" He said "No miss but my sister has." ___ A prostitute says to Paddy: "Would you like to have sex?" Paddy says: "Ok, but only of you do it like my wife... ...
I read in the newspaper a tip to use Vodka for cleaning around the house. I must say it really works too, the more Vodka I drank the cleaner the house looked. ___ I was sitting on the toilet when the... ...
If I had 50p for every maths exam I've failed, I'd have £3.74 now. ___ I can put up with most things from my work-mates; but stealing my digestives? That just takes the biscuit. ___ I was in a lift when... ...
I've been in bed for 20 minutes and l've just remembered, l only came upstairs for a pen. ___ Last night I had a terrible dream that I had to make a thousand pancakes. I was tossing and turning all... ...
Paddy staggered home very late and very drunk. He took off his shoes to avoid waking the wife. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their bedroom, but misjudged the... ...
Someone glued my pack of cards together... I'm finding it hard to deal with. ___ IF you close your eyes and rub a kiwi fruit in one hand and rub one of your testicles with the other, it's difficult... ...
I think I might apply for the new series of Embarrassing Bodies... One of my testicles is bigger than the other two! ___ Most of my relatives are Police marksmen, apart from my grandad who was a bank... ...
Boss (to the new employee): "We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?" New employee: "Yes, sir." Boss: Get out, We are also keen on truthfulness. There is... ...
I just bought one of those low energy light bulbs from B&Q. The till assistant said "Will you be putting this up yourself?" I said "No, I'm putting it up in the lounge." ___ Breaking news about the... ...
