Rondy Member Profile in The AnswerBank

Rondy

A Few More

Accidentally took the cats medicine this morning...don't ask meow.
___

A small church had a very attractive big-busted organist named Linda. Her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled... ...

Rondy

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Last night I told my wife I was feeling horny.
"Well, we can soon sort that out", she said with a wink, and slowly undressed.
flip me, she was right...
I stopped feeling horny immediately! ___ I was... ...

Rondy

Pet Shop

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.' The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. 'Yeah, we'll take four of dem... ...

Rondy

Frog

A guy with a 25 inch willy goes to the doctor and said "I can't live with this willy anymore! It's too long!". The doctor replied "go to the swamp and find a female frog and ask her to marry... ...

Rondy

A Few More

I asked my neighbour when his birthday is? He said March first. So I paraded around his yard then asked him again. ___ A group of American tourists came in. One of the Americans said, in a loud... ...

Rondy

And There's More

My careers officer in school asked me "what job can you see yourself doing?"
I said "mirror inspector" ___ A vicar visits a dentist for a new set of teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new... ...

Rondy

There's More

I've combined my skills of bomb-making and taxidermy..
I'm going to make you an otter you can't defuse. ___ My mother always said to me make sure you have a clean pair of underwear on in case you are... ...

Rondy

Retirement

A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little... ...

Rondy

And There's More

With all this advanced technology these days, you would think someone could invent soundproof underpants.
___

Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired... ...

Rondy

The Traveller

Sean, who was a commercial traveller many years ago, became lost on a strange road on a wild, cold, stormy night. His car broke down. He thought he was in for a terrible night staying in the car... ...

Rondy

A Few More

Not wanting to brag but, I have enough money saved, so I don't have to work for the rest of the year. ___ The other day, Robyn and I got into some petty argument. (I say it was petty. She would have... ...

Rondy

There's More

A thesaurus is great.
There's no other word for it. ___ There was a long line to get haircuts today.
It was a barberqueue. ___ My wife bought me the Kama Sutra for Xmas.
That's put me in an awkward... ...

Rondy

Paddy And Mick

Paddy and Mick were sitting in back of their trailers, shooting the breeze. Paddy asked Mick, "If I snuck over to yore house while you wuz out fishin' an' I made love to your wife, an' she got... ...

Rondy

And There's More

Me: "Alexa, can you check my bank balance and let me know which Apple product I can afford?"
Alexa: "Apple Juice!" ___ Tech support: “What does the screen say now?”
Customer: “It says ‘Hit enter when... ...

Rondy

A Few More

An invisible man married an invisible woman.
Their kids were nothing to look at either. ___ Went to see the worst faith healer ever last night.
He was so bad, even a bloke in a wheelchair got up and... ...

Rondy

And There's More

I was out on a date with a really hot woman, well, I say "date", we had dinner and watched a movie and then the plane landed. ___ Who sings 'Mistletoe and wine' whilst cleaning the kitchen?
Cif... ...

Rondy

A Few More

My mate was upset when his Playstation died.
So I went over there to console him.
___

For years I played brass in a well known orchestra.
I'm a truly gifted musician particularly with lower pitch... ...

Rondy

There's More

Rose accompanied her husband Tom to his annual checkup. While Tom was getting dressed, the doctor came out and said to Rose, “I don’t like the way he looks.” “Neither do I,” she said. “But he’s... ...

Rondy

There's More

Sally: Hmmm... there was something else I had to buy, and I can’t think of it.
Mary: Was it tuna fish... or cereal… or sugar… or coffee?
Sally: No, none of those things. Especially not coffee! I... ...

Rondy

And There's More

A bloke said to me today 'Are those thick lens glasses you're wearing?'
I said 'No, they're mine' ___ The inventor of the ballet skirt was struggling for a name for his invention.
Finally he put tu... ...

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Pet Shop

Frog

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Retirement

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The Traveller

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Paddy And Mick

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