Shaglene Member Profile in The AnswerBank

Shaglene

A Little Late............

One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols....

Shaglene

Visits To The Vets............

I took my dog to the vets. He picked him up, examined him and said that he will have to put my dog down. I asked if it was that serious. He said, "No. Its just that he is getting heavy." I took my...

Shaglene

Old Man Walking............

Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend, "I'm sure that...

Shaglene

The Arrogance Of Authority..........

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas, and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "Okay, but don't go in that...

Shaglene

What Causes Arthritis?...............

A drunken man who smelled of beer sat down in an underground train, next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking...

Shaglene

I Nearly Became A Doctor................

When I was young in the 1960's, I decided I wanted to a be doctor, so I took the entrance exam to go to Medical School. One of the questions asked was to rearrange the letters PNEIS into the name of...

Shaglene

Here's To 2018...........

As the year comes to an end, I urge you to take care of yourselves and avoid any accidents because spare parts for old models like you are no longer in stock...................

Shaglene

A Note...............

Write out a note and hand it into customer services at any supermarket, walk away and wait for the fun when its read out------- Red car, lights on, NE1 4ABJ............................

Shaglene

Curious About Sex.............

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter. Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on...

Shaglene

Counselling...............

After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counselling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they ever had in the years they had been...

Shaglene

Water Bill...............

Just had a water bill of £175 drop on my mat. That's a lot - Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just £2 a month: time to change supplier I think....

Shaglene

Two Women.............

Two women called at my door and asked what bread I ate, when I said 'white' they gave me a lecture on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes. I think they were those J Hovis Witnesses....

Shaglene

This Could Be Us Someday....... (Maybe Sooner Than We Think!)

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help...

Shaglene

Irish Explanation................

The mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law Paddy in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase. "What happened Paddy ?" she asks anxiously. "What happened!! I'll tell...

Shaglene

Diet.................

Q. "How's the diet going?" A. "Not so good. I had eggs for breakfast." Q. "Scrambled?" A. "No. Cadbury's."...

Shaglene

What's That Called.................

Billy was 4 years old and was staying with his grandfather for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked, 'Grandpa, what's that called when two...

Shaglene

Best Toast..................

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life!, between the legs of me wife!' That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and...

Shaglene

Stevie Wonder V Tiger Woods..............

Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Tiger turns to Stevie and says, 'How's the singing career going?' Stevie replies, 'Not too bad. How's the golf?' Woods replies, 'Not too bad, I've had some...

Shaglene

The Italian Fire Department

One dark night in a small town of Roselle Park, New Jersey a fire started inside the local sausage factory. In a blink the building was engulfed in flames. The alarm went out to all the fire...

Shaglene

Paddy's Eighteenth Birthday..............

Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special...

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Best Answers

A Little Late............

Visits To The Vets............

Old Man Walking............

The Arrogance Of Authority..........

What Causes Arthritis?...............

I Nearly Became A Doctor................

Here's To 2018...........

A Note...............

Curious About Sex.............

Counselling...............

Water Bill...............

Two Women.............

This Could Be Us Someday....... (Maybe Sooner Than We Think!)

Irish Explanation................

Diet.................

What's That Called.................

Best Toast..................

Stevie Wonder V Tiger Woods..............

The Italian Fire Department

Paddy's Eighteenth Birthday..............

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