An elderly couple, Minnie and Max, sit down to their Christmas dinner. Before eating, his wife speaks up. “Can I ask you a question, Max?” “Sure Minnie,” Max says, waiting to dig into his meal. “Has...
I was in the supermarket earlier when I came across a guy with a trolley full to the brim with hand sanitizers, baby wipes, soaps, everything that people need. I called him a selfish *****, with no...
Police are reporting that there was a robbery at my local Odeon with over £1000 of goods stolen. The cinema management say they are missing a large bucket of popcorn, a medium coke and a Cornetto. I...
I ended up with an older woman at a club last night. She looked OK for a 61 year old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a really hot daughter. We...
Following on from Patsy's - an old one. Two rabbits and a hedgehog standing on the roadside. The Hedgehog says I'm too scared to cross cos I'll get splattered! Rabbit one says naaa, all you have to do...
A little girl complained to her father, "Daddy, I wish I had a little sister!" Trying to be funny, her father joked, "But honey, you already have a sister!" Confused, the toddler asked, "I do?"...
I got so fed up with trick or treaters at Halloween that in the end I turned the lights out and pretended I wasn't in. I Forget about the ships....I lost my job as a lighthouse keeper!
Kid came to our door on Halloween looking for candy. I said 'What have you come as?' 'A Werewolf' he replied. 'But you haven't got a costume on, you're just wearing normal clothes' 'DUH it's not a...
On average, British men will have sex two to three times a week, whereas a Japanese man will only have sex once or twice a year. This is deeply distressing and upsetting news to me, as I had no idea I...
George decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, George was organising his golfing equipment. His wife was standing nearby watching him. After a long...
Follow Your Dad's Advice.... ....A young mouse looked out of his hole, sniffed and smelt cheese. He was about to run out to get it when he remembered his father's words and always be very careful when...
Boss.."do you believe in life after death " Me.."certainly not there's no proof in it" Boss.."well there is now after you took half a day off yesterday for your uncles funeral he came here looking for...
Paddy says to Murphy, “I robbed a shop last night.” “I took a load of pictures, the cheapest one is worth £180.000.” Murphy says, “Paddy ya daft begger, you’ve robbed an estate agent.”...
