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Shaglene

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retrocop

Rye Bread

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at...
13:40 Fri 26th Oct 20184 answers, last by Shaglene 18:17 Fri 26th Oct 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Fight The Flab....

I saw a sign on a doorway it said "come on in and fight the flab ". Ive been meaning to lose weight So I went in. The flab was a 25 stone female sumo wrestler who beat the granny out of me....
12:40 Fri 26th Oct 20183 answers, last by Patsy33 18:15 Fri 26th Oct 2018
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Patsy33

A Friend

A friend got a job as a postman. On his first day, he was handed a letter. He looked at it, and thought “this isn’t for me”....
15:49 Fri 26th Oct 20189 answers, last by Patsy33 18:18 Fri 26th Oct 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Local Shop!

I couldn't find any Oxo cubes in my local shop today. They must have been out of stock....
19:12 Tue 23rd Oct 201822 answers, last by DTCwordfan 09:59 Wed 24th Oct 2018
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Patsy33

Shakespeare

William Shakespeare walks into a bar. The barman says “Oi! You’re bard.”...
19:00 Mon 22nd Oct 201818 answers, last by Shaglene 17:56 Tue 23rd Oct 2018
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Patsy33

A Man..

A man wearing a tie fastener walks into a bar. The barman says “we don’t like your tie pin here”....
15:41 Tue 23rd Oct 201814 answers, last by DTCwordfan 17:56 Tue 23rd Oct 2018
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marval

Caught

I have just been caught trying to smuggle twelve cases of fortified wine in to the country. I am worried I might be deported....
17:24 Tue 23rd Oct 20188 answers, last by Patsy33 18:09 Tue 23rd Oct 2018
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Patsy33

Poured Beer

Poured beer over my garden before planting the lawn. I hoped the grass would come up half cut....
14:01 Mon 22nd Oct 20188 answers, last by Patsy33 15:32 Mon 22nd Oct 2018
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Chipchopper

Strange Breed

I was walking in the woods this morning, when I encountered a man walking a dog. "Thats an unusual dog" I said. Man- "yes its a cross between a bulldog and a shih tzu" Me- "No, you're giving me a load...
12:19 Sun 21st Oct 20184 answers, last by Shaglene 07:51 Mon 22nd Oct 2018
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-SharonA-

Firearm

A man at the petrol station accidentally caught his arm on fire whilst filling up and smoking at the same time. He was running around screaming waving his arm. Luckily the police was nearby and was...
22:00 Sat 20th Oct 20184 answers, last by Shaglene 11:02 Sun 21st Oct 2018
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Patsy33

I Do Enjoy..

I do enjoy playing “telekinetic snooker”. However, you’ve got to be in the right frame of mind for it....
18:41 Sat 20th Oct 20189 answers, last by Shaglene 10:58 Sun 21st Oct 2018
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BANANASPLITS

My Belly....

I went to My doctor and he looked at my belly this morning and said you should diet. I said what colour ?...
10:34 Sun 21st Oct 20183 answers, last by Patsy33 16:49 Sun 21st Oct 2018
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Patsy33

My Friend..

My friend always went the extra mile at work. That’s why he lost his job as a taxi driver....
12:22 Sat 20th Oct 20189 answers, last by Shaglene 13:10 Sat 20th Oct 2018
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Patsy33

Friend Went

Friend went for a job at a sun cream factory but didn’t get it. He’s going to reapply....
12:15 Fri 19th Oct 20188 answers, last by Baldric 23:51 Fri 19th Oct 2018
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Shaglene

Kung-Fu............

A Chinese bloke walks into the pub, stands next to me and starts drinking. I said to him, "Do you know any of these martial arts like kung-fu, jujitsu are karate?" He says, "Why u ask me dat? Is it...
18:11 Thu 18th Oct 20188 answers, last by Shaglene 11:53 Fri 19th Oct 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Old Viagra Pill....

I tried an old Viagra pill that I found at the back of my bathroom cupboard last night and it didn't work... I think it must have been past its swell by date!...
18:51 Thu 18th Oct 201820 answers, last by GlicerinEBAG 10:49 Wed 18th Dec 2019
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DTCwordfan

Freemasonry

One night (a long time ago in a jurisdiction far, far, away - rumour being St Austell aka Awful) a brother was heading home after indulging a bit too much at the festive board after his lodge meeting....
15:42 Wed 17th Oct 20185 answers, last by percy1946 21:55 Fri 19th Oct 2018
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marval

Shocked

The man who lives on the farm next to me just put some strange metal wire around his field. For the last few days I just couldn’t put my finger on it, and when I finally did I was shocked. I had a...
21:02 Mon 15th Oct 20182 answers, last by Shaglene 17:38 Tue 16th Oct 2018
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spathiphyllum

Life

Life is like a game of chess... Can anyone teach me how to play chess?...
14:19 Tue 16th Oct 20187 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 11:09 Wed 17th Oct 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Poor Mother In Law...

Please send prayers for my mother-in-law, she was taken to hospital this morning, her face was all red and swollen,A bee landed on her face, luckily she wasn't stung,I was quick with the spade...
12:50 Mon 15th Oct 20185 answers, last by Shaglene 17:27 Tue 16th Oct 2018

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