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Shaglene

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marval

Pat And Mick

Pat and Mick, came from Ireland to Liverpool, and their mother said before they left “If you get in one of them big black taxis only pay the fare on the meter.” When they arrived in Liverpool they...
20:43 Tue 07th Aug 20182 answers, last by Shaglene 11:17 Wed 08th Aug 2018
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Voltage

Girl In A Pub!!!

I told a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs. "Go on" she said, "Try then" After about thirty seconds of fondling she lost patience and...
10:50 Wed 08th Aug 201812 answers, last by tonyav 00:12 Sat 11th Aug 2018
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Voltage

My Blonde Wife...!

My blonde wife’s car got stolen while she was out the other day. I said ,“Were you able to see what the guy looked like?” She replied, “No, but I got the license plate number!”...
15:52 Mon 06th Aug 20186 answers, last by Shaglene 07:13 Tue 07th Aug 2018
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marval

Just Got Home

I have just got home and found my wife waiting for me in just knee-high leather boots and a tiny g-string. Needless to say I’m going to be busy all afternoon, it will take me ages to retune my...
22:17 Mon 06th Aug 20185 answers, last by Shaglene 07:10 Tue 07th Aug 2018
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1ozzy

What Phrases Could Be Used.....

....Sitting at the dinner table and also be used while having sex. "That was very filling"...
03:47 Tue 07th Aug 201844 answers, last by marval 17:25 Tue 07th Aug 2018
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Voltage

Since My Wife Left....!

Since my wife left, I've bought a motorcycle, drugs and am currently in bed with two prostitutes. She's going to kill me when she comes home from work....
12:14 Sat 04th Aug 20186 answers, last by Voltage 09:30 Sun 05th Aug 2018
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marval

I Went To

I went to a restaurant that served endangered species and ordered a Panda steak. The waiter asked, “How would you like that sir?” I said, “Rare.” I called the reception at the dentist to...
21:06 Fri 03rd Aug 20183 answers, last by Shaglene 08:11 Sun 05th Aug 2018
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Voltage

My Daughter!

My 16 year old daughter asked me, what was the best form of contraception? My reply was: “A tic tac.” She said: The mints? How will a tic tac stop me getting pregnant? I said: “you hold it...
22:28 Fri 03rd Aug 20183 answers, last by 1ozzy 08:17 Sun 05th Aug 2018
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marval

New Job

I got a job at Asda today, on the fish counter. I knew I Haddock in me. I told my wife that I got a new job as a puppeteer “How on earth did you do that?” she asked “I had to pull a few...
21:22 Tue 31st Jul 201811 answers, last by Shaglene 18:32 Wed 01st Aug 2018
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Voltage

New Sex Scam...beware!

Guys, be careful. there is a new scam going on. Two girls ......one comes to you and has sex with you whilst the other one steals all of your money. I have been robbed 13 times, so stay safe...
08:57 Wed 01st Aug 20183 answers, last by Voltage 19:33 Wed 01st Aug 2018
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Voltage

I Took My Daughter To The Zoo.....

I took my daughter to the zoo & she saw two monkeys having sex. "What are the monkeys doing" she asked. "The male monkey is stopping the female from feeling lonely" I said. "Uncle Dave's really nice...
15:35 Mon 30th Jul 20184 answers, last by DTCwordfan 18:19 Tue 31st Jul 2018
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Voltage

Anti Depressants.....!

To the person who stole all my anti depressants I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY NOW !!!...
08:55 Tue 31st Jul 201811 answers, last by DTCwordfan 18:11 Tue 31st Jul 2018
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Voltage

New Clock....!

I bought a battery powered clock today. When I got home, I noticed that they had given me the wrong one. I thought "This is a wind up!"...
15:09 Tue 31st Jul 201813 answers, last by Voltage 23:03 Tue 31st Jul 2018
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Shaglene

71 Yrs. Old Sperm Count.............

A 71-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said,'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.' The...
15:00 Mon 30th Jul 20188 answers, last by Voltage 15:25 Mon 30th Jul 2018
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Shaglene

It's Hell To Be Old..............

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.' The...
17:55 Thu 03rd Sep 20154 answers, last by Shaglene 15:11 Mon 30th Jul 2018
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marval

Complaint

I complained to my newsagent. “I’ve not received my copy of ‘Managing Confrontation’ this month.” He said, “Why, is there an issue?”...
17:48 Sat 28th Jul 20184 answers, last by Shaglene 12:29 Mon 30th Jul 2018
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Shaglene

Sleeping Pills..........

Doctor, "Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills." Wife, "When must I give them to him?" Doctor, "They are not for him, they are for you."...
14:37 Tue 24th Jul 20186 answers, last by Hopkirk 15:04 Tue 24th Jul 2018
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Voltage

Ikea Job Interview!

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying "come in, make a seat."...
13:59 Tue 24th Jul 201810 answers, last by Hopkirk 16:55 Tue 24th Jul 2018
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Voltage

My Best Mate!

I just got back from my best mates funeral, He was killed by a tennis ball. It was a cracking service....
18:57 Mon 23rd Jul 201810 answers, last by Shaglene 12:00 Tue 24th Jul 2018
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Voltage

After My Accident..!

After my accident, I woke up in hospital with a sexy nurse standing over me. She said, "You may not feel anything from the waist down." "Fair enough," I replied, groping her boobs!...
08:05 Tue 24th Jul 20186 answers, last by Voltage 13:37 Tue 24th Jul 2018

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