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Shaglene

161 to 180 of 858

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sunny-dave

Faculty

I have run out of PG Tips :(
09:50 Tue 24th Jul 20186 answers, last by Zacs-Master 15:52 Tue 24th Jul 2018
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marval

I Was

I was waiting in line for a club last night and the guy at the door was checking IDs. He was taking ages. The bank wants to repossess my tree-house. They say I haven’t kept up my mortgage payments...
17:14 Sun 22nd Jul 20184 answers, last by Shaglene 18:40 Mon 23rd Jul 2018
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Voltage

Fancy Dress!

My missus told me she'd got an invite to a fancy dress party. "Oh, that explains the latex rubber sumo wrestler suit you're trying on" I said She replied "What bloody latex rubber sumo suit? I'm naked...
23:29 Sun 22nd Jul 20184 answers, last by Shaglene 18:37 Mon 23rd Jul 2018
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Voltage

Body Snatching!

My mate just came fourth in a Body-Snatching contest. I told him "It's not the winning, it's the taking parts that counts."...
12:05 Mon 23rd Jul 20187 answers, last by Shaglene 18:34 Mon 23rd Jul 2018
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Chipchopper

At The Archery Club...

When I tried out my new bow and arrows at the club, I was way off target. I'ii have to consult the manual, for trouble shooting....
08:12 Fri 20th Jul 20188 answers, last by Shaglene 18:42 Sat 21st Jul 2018
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Voltage

Banned From The Chemist!

I've been banned from my local chemist, all I said to the assistant was "Do you swallow or take it up the bum" I didn't know what to do with those suppository thingies!...
13:45 Sat 21st Jul 20184 answers, last by Shaglene 18:26 Sat 21st Jul 2018
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Patsy33

70S Television

Saw a 70s television programme about two detectives who solve crimes using a TV remote control. Star Key and Hash....
17:58 Sat 21st Jul 20189 answers, last by Patsy33 23:45 Sat 21st Jul 2018
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Voltage

I Have.....

I have an intense fear of speed bumps. But I'm slowly getting over it....
16:10 Wed 18th Jul 20185 answers, last by piggynose 13:28 Thu 19th Jul 2018
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Voltage

After 20 Mins....

After spending 20 minutes trying to get my Wife's bra off, I decided to give up, I wish I'd never put it on now....
16:25 Wed 18th Jul 201816 answers, last by Shaglene 13:24 Thu 19th Jul 2018
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marval

What Do I Look Like?

A farmer and his wife had worked hard, and scrimped and saved to send their son to college. As soon as he had enrolled, he started to grow a beard. Next he grew a large moustache and sideburns. Being...
20:50 Tue 17th Jul 20186 answers, last by Patsy33 08:06 Wed 18th Jul 2018
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Patsy33

Fruit

Went to the shop today to buy some lemons and apples, but they didn’t have any. It was a fruitless trip....
09:08 Tue 17th Jul 20189 answers, last by Shaglene 17:21 Tue 17th Jul 2018
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Voltage

Feeling Down In The Dumps!!

Feeling down in the dumps, overweight, Unfit, thinking you're getting old, got aches and pains, stiff back? Well just park in a disabled bay at Tesco and everyone will be sure to tell you there's fek...
10:10 Tue 17th Jul 201811 answers, last by Kate-Kross 08:50 Wed 18th Jul 2018
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Voltage

My Wife Left Me!

My wife walked out on me after I blew our life savings on a penis extension... She said she just couldn't take it any longer....
16:24 Tue 17th Jul 201815 answers, last by Tiffany789 07:32 Wed 18th Jul 2018
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Shaglene

One Vacancy In Heaven.............

Stormy Daniels and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day. They both met with an angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven The angel said: "Unfortunately, there's only...
08:45 Mon 09th Jul 20185 answers, last by Patsy33 09:48 Mon 09th Jul 2018
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Voltage

In Bed With The Neighbour!

My wife caught me in bed with the neighbour. "It's not as bad as it looks love, honest!" I said. "Oh yeah?" she shouted. "Just how much worse can it be?" "Erm. Your sister's hiding in the wardrobe and...
12:13 Sat 07th Jul 20183 answers, last by Shaglene 15:33 Sun 08th Jul 2018
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Patsy33

Songs You Wouldn't Hear At A Wedding..

I'll start with one D.I.V.O.R.C.E Tammy Wynette....
06:43 Fri 06th Jul 201839 answers, last by fourteen85 16:27 Sat 07th Jul 2018
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Voltage

Answerbank!

I won't be on answerbank for a while, the Police are investigating me regarding the theft of an Inflatable Mattress....I've gotta lilo! ....
19:26 Thu 05th Jul 201816 answers, last by Shaglene 07:00 Fri 06th Jul 2018
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Voltage

Selfie!

People who use selfie sticks really need to take a good, long look at themselves.
13:43 Thu 05th Jul 20184 answers, last by Voltage 13:52 Thu 05th Jul 2018
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Voltage

A Mime Artist!

A mime artist broke his left arm in a bar fight and got arrested. Police say He still has the right to remain silent....
13:41 Wed 04th Jul 20182 answers, last by Shaglene 16:34 Wed 04th Jul 2018
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Shaglene

Irish Vasectomy................

After having their 11th child, an Irish couple decided that that was enough, as they couldn't afford another bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to...
11:49 Wed 04th Jul 20183 answers, last by Patsy33 16:12 Wed 04th Jul 2018

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