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Voltage

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Voltage

I Was Attacked Last Night!

I was attacked last night in the street by a bloke with a power tool, there I was just minding my own business then... BOSCH!
14:12 Mon 05th Feb 201815 answers, last by zebo 21:28 Mon 05th Feb 2018
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Spider!

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it… We went out and had some drinks.. Cool guy.. Wants to be a web developer....
16:45 Sun 04th Feb 201814 answers, last by MichaelZZ 18:52 Sun 04th Feb 2018
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My Mate!

My mate needed a bone marrow transplant They found a match in Argentina The operation was a success Our thanks go out to Diego Marrow Donor...
17:51 Sat 03rd Feb 20186 answers, last by Shaglene 13:20 Sun 04th Feb 2018
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Spice Girl!

Which spice girl can hold the most petrol? Geri can....
12:08 Sat 03rd Feb 20183 answers, last by Shaglene 13:31 Sun 04th Feb 2018
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Man Flu

During labour, the pain is so great that a woman... Can almost imagine what it's like to have man flu....
09:08 Sat 03rd Feb 20186 answers, last by Shaglene 13:44 Sun 04th Feb 2018
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A Woman In A Bar!

A hot woman came up to me in a bar & said, "Do you want me to show you good time?" I said, "Yes please!!!" Then she ran 100m in 9.73 seconds...
17:20 Fri 02nd Feb 201814 answers, last by Patsy33 13:56 Sun 04th Feb 2018
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Dwarf And A Midget ?

What do a dwarf and a midget have in common? Very little....
11:43 Fri 02nd Feb 201813 answers, last by marval 17:38 Fri 02nd Feb 2018
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Astronomy!

I tried taking up Astronomy as an hobby but got tired of watching the moon go round the earth for 24 hours. So I've decided to call it a day....
16:22 Thu 01st Feb 20184 answers, last by Jahulaye 17:28 Thu 01st Feb 2018
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Hamster Name!

My m8 asked me "why have you called your hamster saturn"? I said "it had a nice ring to it"!...
11:36 Thu 01st Feb 201814 answers, last by Shaglene 17:23 Thu 01st Feb 2018
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In An Elevator!

This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs and she said "can you Press One please" So I did... I don't remember much after that....
20:18 Wed 31st Jan 201813 answers, last by zebo 15:09 Thu 01st Feb 2018
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Buying A Goldfish!

I went in to a pet shop. I said, “Can I buy a goldfish?” The guy said, “Do you want an aquarium?” I said, “I don’t care what star sign it is.”...
15:40 Wed 31st Jan 20187 answers, last by Garaman 17:08 Wed 31st Jan 2018
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The Wife Again!

My wife said “I’ve had it with your silly remarks about my weight. I’m leaving you!” “But honey, what about our child?” “What child?!” “Oh, so you’re not pregnant?”...
18:31 Tue 30th Jan 20184 answers, last by Garaman 21:00 Tue 30th Jan 2018
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It's Over!

I just text my girlfriend Ruth and told her that its over between us I've had enough!. I'm Ruthless....
11:08 Tue 30th Jan 20184 answers, last by Garaman 14:19 Tue 30th Jan 2018
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At The Cinema!

I've just been to see that new earthquake movie at the cinema. I'd love to say it was a cracking film but had it had its faults....
14:19 Mon 29th Jan 201813 answers, last by Patsy33 20:17 Mon 29th Jan 2018
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My Mate

My mate had a private operation done to change him into a duck. He's been left with a massive bill.
11:12 Mon 29th Jan 201810 answers, last by Patsy33 12:37 Mon 29th Jan 2018
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Wonga!

The local football team I play for have just been sponsored by Wonga For our pre match talk last week we were told to go out and give 1479%...
17:38 Sat 27th Jan 20189 answers, last by zebo 22:44 Sat 27th Jan 2018
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At A Party!

Fell asleep at a party last night, and someone put a teabag in my mouth, I went mental! No one treats me like a mug....
12:41 Sat 27th Jan 201810 answers, last by Hopkirk 17:53 Sun 28th Jan 2018
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French People

Why do French people eat snails? Because they don’t like fast food!...
17:36 Fri 26th Jan 20186 answers, last by Garaman 20:39 Fri 26th Jan 2018
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Wife Apologised!

My wife apologised for the first time ever today! She said she's sorry she ever married me....
13:20 Fri 26th Jan 20188 answers, last by Patsy33 17:19 Sun 28th Jan 2018
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Small Boat!

I had an argument earlier with my best friend about his small boat. We fell out....
20:20 Thu 25th Jan 201831 answers, last by marval 14:18 Fri 26th Jan 2018

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