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Voltage

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Voltage

Mother's Day.

Bought my mum a fridge for Mother's Day. You should've seen her face light up when she opened it!...
16:24 Sun 11th Mar 20186 answers, last by Garaman 19:52 Sun 11th Mar 2018
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Voltage

House Hunting!

I’ve just been house hunting. One place had mirrors covering the walls of every room. I thought, “I can see myself living here!”...
19:50 Fri 09th Mar 20184 answers, last by Hopkirk 07:36 Sun 11th Mar 2018
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Voltage

My New Girlfriend!

My new girlfriend lets me lick anything off her!! Butter, jam, cheese, you name it she lets me lick it off her. She's a cracker....
16:21 Fri 09th Mar 201810 answers, last by Voltage 17:42 Fri 09th Mar 2018
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Voltage

I'm Leaving You!

My wife came home from work to find me sitting watching the football.. "I've decided I'm leaving you, all you do is talk about football you think about nothing else," she said. "I'm also seeing...
07:23 Fri 09th Mar 201831 answers, last by DTCwordfan 19:07 Fri 09th Mar 2018
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Voltage

What Do You Get?

What do you get if you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic? Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog....
20:37 Thu 08th Mar 20182 answers, last by Shaglene 15:13 Fri 09th Mar 2018
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Voltage

International Women's Day!

Today is international woman's day. It was supposed to be yesterday but they took too long to get ready!
12:24 Thu 08th Mar 201811 answers, last by Garaman 17:50 Thu 08th Mar 2018
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My New Girlfriend

My new girlfriend just found out that I'm 42. She said, "You told me that you were 28 and a half!" I said, "I am if you think about it."...
09:59 Thu 08th Mar 20183 answers, last by Shaglene 15:48 Thu 08th Mar 2018
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Voltage

Plane Flights!

During plane flights, I get really bad earache! This year, I've found a solution that'll help. I've booked my wife's seat ten rows back....
06:41 Thu 08th Mar 201817 answers, last by Shaglene 15:57 Thu 08th Mar 2018
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Voltage

Shopping!

I called my wife from the shop saying I’d forgotten what orange juice she asked for. “Concentrate” she said, but I still couldn’t remember!...
13:40 Wed 07th Mar 20183 answers, last by Shaglene 15:07 Wed 07th Mar 2018
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Voltage

Energy Supplier!

A guy just knocked on my door doing a survey and asked who my energy supplier was. Apparently Red Bull wasn’t the answer he was looking for....
11:25 Wed 07th Mar 20185 answers, last by Shaglene 15:09 Wed 07th Mar 2018
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Voltage

Predict The Future!

My friends were amazed when I told them I can predict the future using herbs. “Is it true?” they asked. “Only thyme will tell”, I replied....
20:10 Tue 06th Mar 20186 answers, last by Patsy33 20:42 Tue 06th Mar 2018
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Voltage

Kettle!

I went into an electrical shop and I said, 'Can someone sell me a kettle?' The bloke said, 'Kenwood?' I said, 'Well go and get him then I'm in a hurry'...
15:48 Tue 06th Mar 201833 answers, last by Spicerack 23:14 Tue 06th Mar 2018
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Voltage

Alarm Clock

I live for my alarm clock collection. It’s the only reason I get up in the morning....
21:18 Mon 05th Mar 20189 answers, last by Voltage 15:49 Tue 06th Mar 2018
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Rental Car!

I just got knocked over by a rental car. ouch It really Hertz....
15:32 Mon 05th Mar 201815 answers, last by irena119 08:21 Tue 17th Apr 2018
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Voltage

B&q!

Just bought a low energy light bulb from B&Q. Assistant asked "Will you be putting this up yourself?" I said "No its going in the lounge"...
12:28 Mon 05th Mar 201813 answers, last by marval 18:14 Mon 05th Mar 2018
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Why Do Women ?

Why do women think its ok to leave their bedroom curtains open when they are getting undressed, then start screaming "You pervert!", because you looked. This happened to me last night, and I was that...
12:49 Sun 04th Mar 201814 answers, last by Quoi 18:16 Sun 04th Mar 2018
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My Neighbour !

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2am this morning and said, "volty, I can't get to sleep." "Well it's your lucky day." I said, "I've got a party going on in here, come in."...
20:08 Sat 03rd Mar 20182 answers, last by Shaglene 10:05 Sun 04th Mar 2018
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I Said To My Wife

"Women are terrible with directions, aren't they?" I said to my wife in the car. "I don't really know where you're going with this." she replied....
10:07 Fri 02nd Mar 20185 answers, last by Shaglene 18:55 Fri 02nd Mar 2018
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Voltage

Wrote A Play!

Wrote a play about weather, we had 5 actors dressed as clouds for the rehearsal. On opening night 6 clouds turned up.. It was overcast!...
17:11 Thu 01st Mar 201813 answers, last by jno 19:33 Thu 01st Mar 2018
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Voltage

At The Supermarket

I bought a massive fish from the supermarket today, and when I got home I found out that all its insides were missing. Gutted....
09:00 Thu 01st Mar 201813 answers, last by Voltage 17:04 Thu 01st Mar 2018

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