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Voltage

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Mystery Coach Excursion !

just got back from a day out on a mystery tour excursion we had a raffle to see who got the destination right! the driver won £52!!...
09:50 Thu 29th Mar 201814 answers, last by Patsy33 11:48 Thu 29th Mar 2018
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Two Women!

Two women are talking over the garden wall and one is complaining about her piles. The other says to her, “I know just the remedy. Stick some tea leaves up there and you’ll soon be cured.”...
19:05 Wed 28th Mar 20184 answers, last by Patsy33 11:42 Thu 29th Mar 2018
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Mother Superior!

Mother Superior was talking to one of her young nuns. “Sister, if you were out late at night on your own and a man attacked you, what would you do?” “I would lift up my habit” she replied....
18:42 Wed 28th Mar 20186 answers, last by DTCwordfan 19:01 Wed 28th Mar 2018
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My New Thai Bride!

I'll tell you what I really hate about my new Thai bride. She keeps leaving the toilet seat up!...
14:01 Wed 28th Mar 20189 answers, last by DTCwordfan 17:57 Wed 28th Mar 2018
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My Uncle!

Just found out my uncle has left me a stately home in his will...i never knew he had any money?. I have no idea where Sod Hall is, I'm just off to find it on Google now!...
09:12 Wed 28th Mar 20184 answers, last by DTCwordfan 17:58 Wed 28th Mar 2018
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My Girlfriend!

I've asked my girlfriend to polish my medieval battle uniform while I go to the pub. She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour.
21:36 Tue 27th Mar 201816 answers, last by Shaglene 15:05 Wed 28th Mar 2018
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My Boss!

My boss told me that I need to start taking my job a bit more seriously. I was so shocked I nearly wet my clown costume!. This morning at work my boss told me to "have a great day" So I'm going to the...
11:10 Tue 27th Mar 201813 answers, last by KerriFennell01 05:30 Tue 10th Jan 2023
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My Aunty!

My aunty has had the same washing machine since her son Callum died 27 years ago... I guess washing machines do live longer with Cal gone....
09:59 Mon 26th Mar 201810 answers, last by Garaman 13:21 Tue 27th Mar 2018
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Vandals!

I’ve just heard that vandals have stolen the F from the Funfair sign in our town. Now that is just unfair....
16:09 Sun 25th Mar 20187 answers, last by Voltage 14:53 Mon 26th Mar 2018
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Wife Beat Me Up!!

My wife tried to beat me up with an old Elton John record... I’m still standing....
11:30 Sun 25th Mar 201810 answers, last by Patsy33 12:22 Sun 25th Mar 2018
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24 Hour Heart Monitor

My mum is 85 she has an irregular heartbeat according to her doctor ..she has passed out three times never knew anything about it so the doctor has got her an appointment at the hospital on the 6th...
20:04 Fri 23rd Mar 20182 answers, last by Voltage 20:10 Fri 23rd Mar 2018
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“What A Bonny Baby,”!

A middle-aged man and a woman with a baby found themselves travelling in the same railway carriage. “What a bonny baby,” commented the man. “Thank you,” replied the woman. “She’s very...
17:01 Fri 23rd Mar 20183 answers, last by Shaglene 14:51 Mon 26th Mar 2018
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Three Nuns Arrived At The Pearly Gates!

Three nuns arrived at the Pearly Gates and each was asked a question before they were allowed to enter. The first nun was asked to name the first man. “Adam,” she replied, and the gates opened for...
11:41 Fri 23rd Mar 20185 answers, last by queencharlotte 23:04 Fri 20th Sep 2024
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Bud Light Advert On Tv ?

What on earth does "Dilly Dilly" mean!...
09:51 Fri 23rd Mar 201812 answers, last by tamborine 15:11 Sat 21st Apr 2018
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Waterbed!

‘Got a water-bed to spice up our love life. Doesn't work, we've drifted further apart.’...
20:12 Thu 22nd Mar 20189 answers, last by marval 21:46 Thu 22nd Mar 2018
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Vicar At The Hotel!

A vicar booked into an hotel for the night on his way back from a convention. After supper, he got talking to the woman behind the bar, called Maisie, and invited her up to his room when she’d...
17:55 Thu 22nd Mar 20187 answers, last by DTCwordfan 19:47 Thu 22nd Mar 2018
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Peeping Tom.

My grandfather was a peeping tom. He used to drill holes in the floor and spy on the people in the flat below. He died recently, but I like thinking about him up there somewhere, looking down on us....
12:31 Thu 22nd Mar 20184 answers, last by Voltage 14:23 Thu 22nd Mar 2018
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My Blonde Wife!

My blonde wife complained that her feet hurt. I said: “You’ve got your shoes on the wrong feet.” She said: “But these are the only feet I’ve got.”...
10:09 Thu 22nd Mar 20183 answers, last by marval 17:40 Thu 22nd Mar 2018
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Honeymoon !

It was seven days into their honeymoon and the young bride staggered downstairs to breakfast looking knackered. “My goodness,” said the waitress. “You don’t look so good, but aren’t you the...
18:51 Wed 21st Mar 20182 answers, last by Patsy33 20:34 Wed 21st Mar 2018
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Finger Painting!

I tried a bit of finger painting yesterday. Wish I hadn't bothered, it took me 8 hours just to do the skirting boards....
13:14 Wed 21st Mar 20182 answers, last by Garaman 15:41 Wed 21st Mar 2018

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