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Voltage

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Voltage

I Answered The Door This Morning.

I answered the door this morning. A 6ft beetle punched me in the face & called me loads of names Apparently there's a nasty bug going round!...
14:44 Wed 17th Jan 20183 answers, last by marval 18:01 Wed 17th Jan 2018
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Voltage

Changing User Name

Because of site rules ED couldn't just change my name from berniecuddles to voltage which is fair enough so I had to start afresh. why can't my questions and answers and badges and best answers be...
12:57 Wed 17th Jan 201847 answers, last by vulcan42 09:45 Sat 20th Jan 2018
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Voltage

My Budgie!

My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of matches. You should have seen his little face light up when he tried to walk....
07:32 Wed 17th Jan 201810 answers, last by Shaglene 11:26 Wed 17th Jan 2018
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My Package

The postman left me a note to say my package was too large. My wife disagrees....
20:25 Tue 16th Jan 20185 answers, last by marval 23:22 Tue 16th Jan 2018
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Voltage

Embarrassed

i'm well embarrassed i farted in a lift earlier. It was wrong on so many levels....
11:20 Tue 16th Jan 20186 answers, last by marval 16:05 Tue 16th Jan 2018
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Flu!

I've had bad colds before but this flu I've got has knocked me for six! Only just managed to get up today it feels like my whole body has taken a beating ...had Flu jab 3 months ago it's not helping !...
10:09 Mon 15th Jan 201821 answers, last by Voltage 14:15 Wed 17th Jan 2018
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My Wife’S A Terrible Cook

My wife’s a terrible cook, she can never get her sauces right! I’ve stuck with her though, through thick and thin....
08:51 Sun 14th Jan 201812 answers, last by Arksided 16:47 Sun 14th Jan 2018
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My Husband

My husband goes to a female dentist just for the novelty of hearing a woman tell him to open his mouth....
13:14 Fri 12th Jan 2018
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Voltage

My Wife

My wife left me because of my lack of vocabulary. I was lost for words.
20:27 Thu 11th Jan 201817 answers, last by Voltage 09:44 Fri 12th Jan 2018
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D Day Tomorrow

Got highways agency chartered surveyor coming around then their house valuer . Been a year since we were told of compulsory purchase order so fingers crossed we get a fair price for our property. Next...
15:45 Thu 11th Jan 201834 answers, last by Voltage 10:51 Thu 01st Feb 2018
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My X!

My X was an absolute treasure. I say this because just like treasure, you'll probably need a map and a shovel to find her....
13:27 Thu 11th Jan 201816 answers, last by Garaman 15:35 Thu 11th Jan 2018
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Voltage

Going On A Date!

A girl agreed to go out with me after I gave her a bottle of tonic water. I Schwepped her off her feet....
20:50 Wed 10th Jan 20187 answers, last by albaqwerty 15:32 Thu 11th Jan 2018
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Snooker Accident!

A lorry carrying a load of snooker equipment has crashed on the M25... The driver is under a rest and the cues go back miles!...
06:28 Tue 09th Jan 201831 answers, last by Hopkirk 18:01 Wed 10th Jan 2018
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Three Things!

There's only three things that always tell the truth! 1. Young Children 2. Drunks 3. Leggings...
20:17 Mon 08th Jan 20181 answer, last by Patsy33 21:14 Mon 08th Jan 2018
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Cold Outside

You know it's starting to get cold outside when you trip over dog poo rather than stand in it! I was so cold today that my jaw started to freeze... So I gritted my teeth....
15:11 Mon 08th Jan 20186 answers, last by marval 17:28 Mon 08th Jan 2018
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Eating Your Dinner?

where do you eat your dinner or main meal of the day? At your dining table or in front of the TV on a tray?...
12:36 Mon 08th Jan 2018199 answers, last by douglas9401 23:33 Mon 08th Jan 2018
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Wedding Day

People who say their wedding day is the BEST day of their lives... Have never had two chocolate bars fall from a vending machine at the same time!...
07:45 Mon 08th Jan 20186 answers, last by Patsy33 12:39 Mon 08th Jan 2018
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Batman!

My wife left me because she said it was annoying how I related everything in life to Batman. What a Joker....
21:46 Sat 06th Jan 20183 answers, last by Chipchopper 11:35 Mon 08th Jan 2018
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Psychic!

Shop assistant: How about this one sir? Psychic: That shirt is too small. Shop assistant: You didn't even try it on? Psychic: I'm a medium....
18:39 Fri 05th Jan 20186 answers, last by Patsy33 20:13 Fri 05th Jan 2018
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Mayonnaise !

Just dropped my phone in mayonnaise. Feking hellman!...
18:38 Fri 05th Jan 20184 answers, last by Shaglene 19:28 Fri 05th Jan 2018

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