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Voltage

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Voltage

Sleep

My friend can only sleep on stacks of old magazines. He's got back issues....
14:06 Thu 14th Dec 20173 answers, last by Patsy33 14:21 Thu 14th Dec 2017
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Voltage

Naked!

I arrived Naked at a fancy dress party with a girl on my back "I'm a turtle" i said Oh.. Who's on your back? "ohh That's Michelle" i replied...
08:52 Thu 14th Dec 20179 answers, last by Eleena 11:20 Thu 14th Dec 2017
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My Wife!

My wife has stopped me going to the funfair shes worried that my addiction to helter-skelters is spiraling out of control.
14:36 Wed 13th Dec 201712 answers, last by Patsy33 19:33 Wed 13th Dec 2017
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Bob Left Work One Friday Evening.!

Bob left work one Friday evening. But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with his mates and spending his entire wages. When he finally appeared at home...
13:30 Wed 13th Dec 20171 answer, last by marval 16:31 Wed 13th Dec 2017
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Liver?

Got pack of liver out of freezer way too much for both of us can i freeze half of it again or cook it all and then freeze some...
12:29 Wed 13th Dec 201717 answers, last by ethandron 19:19 Wed 13th Dec 2017
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Jimmy!

Teacher "Jimmy what's the outside of a tree called?" Jimmy "I don't know Miss" Teacher "Bark Jimmy, Bark!" Jimmy "Woof... woof"...
07:06 Wed 13th Dec 20176 answers, last by Shaglene 14:59 Wed 13th Dec 2017
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Teddy Bears Picnic!

The condition of the man who was mauled at the Teddy bear's picnic is said to be improving but he's not out of the woods yet!
18:58 Tue 12th Dec 20176 answers, last by marval 22:02 Tue 12th Dec 2017
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Air Freshner!

I've no idea why my new plug in air fresherner won't work I plug it in and switch it on.. nothing happens ! It just doesn't make scents....
06:22 Tue 12th Dec 20175 answers, last by Shaglene 15:33 Tue 12th Dec 2017
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Priest And A Confession!

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman." The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?" The Irishman said, "Well, we got...
12:45 Mon 11th Dec 2017
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Voltage

New Film!

Have you heard about the new Eddie Stobart film coming out? It looks quite good, i've just seen the trailer!!...
14:23 Sun 10th Dec 20173 answers, last by Togo 16:18 Sun 10th Dec 2017
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Solar Eclipse

I was told that you could view a solar eclipse through a colander? I tried it and ended up straining my eyes....
09:25 Sun 10th Dec 20174 answers, last by Patsy33 15:30 Sun 10th Dec 2017
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Just Got In!!

Came home to find all my doors had been smashed in and everything was gone!.. What sort of sick person does that to someone's advent calendar?...
13:01 Sat 09th Dec 20175 answers, last by Fanriffic 21:10 Sat 09th Dec 2017
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Death By A Golf Club!

Police are called to a home to fins man standing over the lifeless body of a woman with a five iron in his hand. The police ask, "is that your wife?" "Yes" says the man. "Did you kill her with that...
11:12 Sat 09th Dec 201714 answers, last by Patsy33 17:18 Sat 09th Dec 2017
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Food Colouring

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. Ive just been to The doctors he says I'm OK, but I feel like Im dying!
13:08 Fri 08th Dec 201712 answers, last by Voltage 09:30 Sat 09th Dec 2017
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Pet Shop

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on...
13:59 Thu 07th Dec 20174 answers, last by marval 18:04 Thu 07th Dec 2017
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In The Pharmacy !

The-manager of a pharmacy asks his assistant, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The assistant says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the...
13:26 Thu 07th Dec 20172 answers, last by Patsy33 14:08 Thu 07th Dec 2017
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Tee-Shirt.

i just followed a guy riding on a motorcycle who was wearing a tee-shirt. The back of his shirt says, "If you can read this the wife must of fell off."...
13:08 Thu 07th Dec 201711 answers, last by marval 18:02 Thu 07th Dec 2017
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My Friend!

One of my friends is a really stubborn hardcore raver. She keeps trying to make me rave with her! She just won’t techno for an answer....
06:46 Wed 06th Dec 20174 answers, last by Togo 16:15 Wed 06th Dec 2017
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Did You Know That?

Dyslexic IT technicians wait ages for a USB, then three come along at once.
12:14 Tue 05th Dec 20179 answers, last by Patsy33 20:52 Tue 05th Dec 2017
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My Dog!

My dog is named Minton. Today he ate a shuttlecock. Bad Minton!...
05:56 Tue 05th Dec 20177 answers, last by Shaglene 12:21 Tue 05th Dec 2017

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