Deputy Of The New Labour Party - Angela...
News1 min ago
What did the chemistry teacher say after getting two whiffs of helium?
He He...
I went into a bookshop, and asked the assistant if they had any talking books, "wait a minute"
she said.
"Lord of the Rings or the Hobbit ?"...
So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?"
I thought "That's all I need, a Je-hoover's witness...
The scariest things about WW3 is UK is on the same side as Germany. They don’t have a good record with wars....
The General went out to find that none of his privates were there. One finally ran up, panting heavily. "Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran to the bus but...
Q, What haircare products do apes prefer to use ?
A, Vidal baboon....
When I got to work Monday, I was limping something awful. My boss noticed and asked me what had happened. I told him, "Oh, nothing. It's just an old football injury that acts up once in a while." My...
I was wondering why the frisbee kept looking bigger and bigger, and then it hit me
A trucker who had driven his fully loaded rig to the top of a steep hill and was just starting down the equally steep other side when he noticed a man and a woman lying in the middle of the road,...
The Teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up to read his. It began, "My daddy fell in well last week." "Good Lord!"...
An Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
Barman says “do you mean a Martini”
Guy replies “if I’d wanted a double I’d have said”...
My friend said "cheer up, you could be in a hole in the ground full of water"
I know he means well....
I wanted to do a joke about tools but awl I could think of was this.
The first woman recruit in the Army reported for duty and was told that although her quarters would be in a separate building, she was to mess with the men. She obeyed the order but It wasn't until...
I used to date a twin and people would ask how I knew which was which.
I said it was easy because by girlfriend had a cute mole behind her left ear and her brother had a beard....
An elderly couple, Minnie and Max, sit down to their Christmas dinner. Before eating, his wife speaks up. “Can I ask you a question, Max?” “Sure Minnie,” Max says, waiting to dig into his meal. “Has...
I visited a psychic and rang the bell.
She yelled out “who is it”
I didn’t bother...
Camilla had come to see Dr. Hardy. When the shrink began using sexual terms, she interrupted, "Wait, what is a phallic symbol?" "A phallic symbol," explained Hardy, "represents the phallus." "What's a...
"My uncle in Dave tried to make a new kind of car. He took the engine from a Ford, the transmission from an Citroen, the tyres from a Vauxhall, and the exhaust system from a BMW." "Really? What did he...
I took up curling 3 weeks ago & I've already lost a stone!...
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