Quizzes & Puzzles0 min ago
Fitness Instructor: "Have you ever done a marathon?"
Me: "You mean like on Netflix?"...
An electrician didn't get home until after 2 am
His wife asked "Wire you insulate?"
He replied "Watts it to you, I'm ohm aren't I?" ......
My friend is obsessed with being a pantomime villain. I think he has a boos problem. ___ I call my wife infinity She goes on and on and on. ___ If anyone has a pair of work gloves they don’t want,...
Just saw this bloke going up a hill with a wheelbarrow full of horseshoes, four leaf clovers and rabbit's feet.
I thought "he's pushing his luck."...
but fruit flies like a banana!
An elderly man who lived on the outskirts of the village went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said: "Father, during World War Two,...
An Indian cab driver picked up a Japanese man from a hotel. Along the way, they saw a Honda motorcycle overtake the taxicab and the Japanese guy said, "Motorcycle very fast, made in Japan." Then a...
Help! My husband keeps pressuring me to try Alan.
Also, how do I turn off predictive text?...
I took my son out for his first pint. Got him a Fosters and he didn't like it, so I had it. Then I got him a Carlsberg, he didn't like that, so I had it. It was the same with Guinness and Cider. By...
I'm pleased to enounce that I've just passed my paintball exam.
The judges said I passed with flying colours...
A 50 year old lady, who suddenly started learning how to swim instead of her usual routine work of going to a Church !!!! Everyone was curious and asked her: "why the change in your interest to...
Q. What do you call a retired shoe repairers convention.
A. A load of old cobblers....
Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place.... First guy, "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my...
I went fishing yesterday morning, but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a snake with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait. Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in...
My kids wanted me to read them a story as soon as possible. So I read them a story from ASAP's Fables. ___ I accidentally downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar app....it keeps draining my...
THE manager at the fish n chip shop was finding it difficult to keep up with the demand, with long cues tailing back halfway round the block.
He'd better get his skates on!...
I’ve got myself a date with a woman who self identifies as a wheelie bin. Trouble is I can’t remember whether I am taking her out Tuesday or Wednesday....
I was in my local fishmongers, buying a few things for tonight's supper, and the f monger said "that'l be 20 pounds Sir". I looked in my wallet, and I only had 15 pounds. He said "that's ok, pay me...
Wullie was reading a classified ad in the local paper where a woman was selling her brand new car. It had only 3,000 miles. "Like new," the ad boasted. "Mint condition. £75.00." He laughed to himself,...
Wife on phone..panting and screaming....where are you?
Me... I'm at the pub
Wife... I think the baby's coming..
Me... He won't get in, he's underage....
