ChatterBank4 mins ago
The man sat in the barber's chair and asked for a shave! The barber produced the cut throat razor and said "Have I shaved you before, sir?" "No, I lost my arm in the war!" A man sat in the chair and...
Why are the Irish so wealthy? Because their capital is always Dublin.
You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples: 1.FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can...
I just got nine out of ten on my driving test.
The last guy was able to get out of the way....
My wife was in labour when the nurse said it was time to push. She gave it everything she had, until a fart, that from sound and stench, had obviously followed through. She was mortified. "Don't...
A widowed lady, Sarah, was sitting on a beach towel in Rhyl She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, spread his blanket on the sand nearby, and had begun reading a book. Smiling,...
An exercise for people who are out of shape: Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute, and then relax. After a...
The boy scouts went camping with the girl guides, the excitement was in tents. ___ I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention disguised as a doctor but the security guard suspected I wasn't the real...
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant and while they are enjoying their food they discuss how their moonshine business is faring. Suddenly, a women at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins...
Man sues McDonald's for still being depressed after a happy meal.
Sorry, but it's false advertising....
A friend of mine has been suffering from paranoid delusions, and now he thinks he's a chocolate orange.
I'm worried he's going to be sectioned.
Poor Terry....
I took a poll recently, and 100% of people were quite annoyed that their tent had fallen down.
Did you know: Peruvian owls are always hunting in pairs... It's because they're Inca hoots! ___ Nigel, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Nigel...
At the rate we're going, they're going to ban shampoo so bald people don't get offended.
I just had dinner with my family at Texas Roadhouse and ordered the 11oz hand cut sirloin. It tasted fine but I was extremely disappointed to learn that they used a knife. ___ Most people get on a...
A homeowner leans over his fence, holding a football, and shouts to two small boys on the other side of the street, "Is this your ball?" "Did it hit anything, mister?" one of the boys asks. "No." "In...
I read a book about Teflon, but it contained no frictional characters.
I arrived home late last evening after pre Easter night out with group of people that I hardly knew. I felt a bit lonesome and after watching one of those spiritual shows on satelitte I decided to...
At my job interview they wanted to know if I perform under pressure.
I said no but I do a pretty good bohemian rhapsody....
Noticeboard outside the Parish church:
There will be a procession on Sunday afternoon in the grounds of the Church. If it rains in the afternoon the procession will take place in the morning....
