Quizzes & Puzzles21 mins ago
I sent my girlfriend out to buy a pint of milk .
It's been almost two weeks now, and she has not returned yet .
I'm getting very worried now that the milk has gone off...
I pulled a sickie the other day.
It's one of the perks of working at a hospital....
https:/
My brother was arrested for feeding pigeons at the zoo.
Apparently he was feeding them to the lions....
,, have heard of Karl Marx, but what about his sister Onya?
Learnt to run at an early age but didn't become famous.
Why is her name is announced at the beginning of nearly every race?...
Doctor: "Relax Peter, it's just a small surgical procedure. Don't panic."
Patient: "My name isn't Peter"
Doctor: "I know. I'm Peter"...
A teacher asked her class of seven-year-olds: "If I had 6 apples in one hand and 4 in the other, other, how many apples would have"? Little Johnny Was first to raise his hand, and says"very big hands,...
Thanks to the people that said that it was fine to allow your pets to sleep in your bed. My goldfish is now dead......
Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap. Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not...
The clocks go back this weekend. I'm setting mine to 1940 when this country had some guts........
Booked a table for me and my missus last night. How Was I to know she couldn't play snooker.
Quit my job working in the helium factory. I wasn't going to be spoken to like that.
https:/
I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes.
It's all about raisin awareness....
A man in the North Wales supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. Dave the produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager....
I went in for a covid test and the doctor asked if I had a sudden loss of taste.
No, I replied, I always dress like this....
..stressful job ever?
https:/
These days you can get a new PM quicker than an appointment to see your GP.
A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day by finding a lovely pair of shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress in a sale in the second shop. In the third everything was reduced to...
Shoepidity:
Wearing uncomfortable shoes because they look good....
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