The One Time I Hope Boris Is Telling The...
News2 mins ago
To the person that broke into my car and stole my anti-depressants: I hope you're happy now!
..This sign is never placed in front of a remedial classroom..
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A little girl walks in to the lounge one Sunday morning where her Daddy is reading the paper. "Where does poo come from?" she asks. Father feeling a little perturbed that his 5 year old daughter is...
Bread is like the sun.
It rises in the yeast, and sets in the waist....
The Conservative Party.
I guy looks in the mirror one day and see's a zit in the middle of his bald head.The next day it's got bigger and has change to a pale green colour. The next time he looks it's grown four little legs...
Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot....
A little old lady went to buy cat food. She picked up three cans, but was told by the cashier: "I'm sorry, but we can't sell this to you without proof you have a cat. Too many seniors are buying cat...
A man was getting married to a doctor's daughter. At the wedding reception, the father of the bride stood to read his toast, which he had scribbled on a piece of scrap paper. Several times during his...
Doctor, Doctor. I feel like a pack of cards. I will deal with you in a minute!. - Doctor, Doctor. I keep going invisible. I am sorry i cannot see you now!....
My postie said he's off to Spain on holiday. He didn't seem impressed when I asked if he was going to Parcelona.
He reckons for good jokes, it's all about the delivery....
Just walked out of Asda and saw this woman crying her eyes out saying that she's lost all her holiday money. I felt so sad for her so I gave her £50. I don't normally do things like that but I had...
I'm never jogging behind a council vehicle in winter again, he said through gritted teeth.
Debbie and Dinah Thomas were doing a crossword "Cant get this clue" said Dinah flightless bird from Iceland two words first word six letters second word seven letters" Debbie thought for a bit and...
Making any more spending outlay until when Liz ?
The police recently arrested a man selling "secret formula" tablets he claimed gave eternal youth claiming to be a time traveller." When going through their files they noticed it was the fifth time he...
I hear they have updated the children's game.
I spy with my little iPhone....
Sitting by the window of her convent, Sister Barbara opened a letter from home one evening. Inside the letter was £100 her parents had sent. Sister Barbara smiled at the gesture. As she read the...
Met the Minister the other day, we had a chat and he said "My son, You should be thinking about the hereafter" I said "But Minister I do every morning " I go downstairs then I go back up stairs. I...
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