Quizzes & Puzzles6 mins ago
Tentacles!...
I'm no good at dwarf impressions, but hey-ho.
A man with one leg missing lands a job at a top brewery. A spokesman for the unnamed beer company told reporters "We've put him in charge of the hops."...
The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?" The guy answers, "A scotch please." The bartender hands him the drink and says, "That'll be five pounds," to which the guy replies,...
This morning on the motorway, I looked over to my right and there was a Woman in a brand new BMW doing 75Mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner ! I looked away for a...
Heres that six quid I owe you! Get it? Sick squid!
The police were hunting a burglar who regularly stole musical instruments.
The guy they stopped denied it was him, but they found the lute on him....
A guy was fired from his job at the Dorito's factory, after going berserk with a forklift truck, knocking over stacks of produce.
Former colleagues said, he had a big chip on his shoulder...
A young Eskimo boy comes in from school.
"Mum, what's for dinner tonight ?"
"Vera Lynn", said his mother.
"Ohhh, no - not whale meat again !!"...
A Penguin rushed into a a shop and asked the shopkeeper.
"Have you seen my brother ?".
The shopkeeper said in response,
"What does he look like ?"...
Dave drowned, so at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt.
Well, it's what he would have wanted....
I'm off to Bill Hayley's fish restaurant tonight, they sell Hake. Haddock and Sole.
A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him. She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she...
My friend said she thought that all brushes and brooms are useless.
I thought "that's a sweeping statement"...
Skydiving is probably not for you
Did you hear about the thoughtful Scotsman who was heading for the pub ?. He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, "Sheila, put your hat and coat on, lassie". She replied, "Ach, John, that's...
There was an explosion in a cheese factory in France.
Da brie was spread over a wide area...
I owe so much money to my herb seller that he's threatening to send round the bay leaf...
My Alphabet A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest pains, perhaps car-d-iac? D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't read that top line! F is for fissures and fluid...
Do you like chimney jokes?
I've got stacks of them.
The first one is on the house...
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