Other Sports1 min ago
I asked the IT guy, “How do you make a motherboard?” and he said, “I tell her about my job.”...
I've just had a woman on the doorstep for the last hour explaining the benefits of brown bread....Hovis witness.
What's the difference between Black Eyed Peas and chick peas?
Black Eyed Peas can sing us a song, but chick peas can only humus one...
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Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his...
This company hires a new guy and he's supposed to start work on a Monday, but instead of showing up he calls his boss and says, "I'm sick." His boss tells him not to worry and lets him have the day...
Two women on a bus were quarrelling over the last available seat. Several other passengers had already tried unsuccessfully to intervene, so the bus driver yelled out,"Let the ugly one have the seat"....
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my constant celebrity name dropping. David Beckham told me this would happen. As we approached the airport, the pilot started banking. "What a time to...
Willie, a New Zealander, was in Australia to watch the upcoming Rugby World Cup and was not feeling well, so he decided to see a doctor. "Hey doc, I dun't feel so good, " said Willie. The doctor gave...
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, ‘Let’s make this interesting’. So we stopped playing chess....
Q What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? A Elephants are grey and grapes are green. ________________________________________________ Q What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants...
My wife couldn't believe me when I said I could make a car using spaghetti.
You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta...
I learnt today that cat ladies don't like living in Nepal, but cat men do.
A dog walks into a bar and the bartender says, "what will it be" and the dog says, "I'll have a dry Martini with an olive please" the barman is amazed and says, "holy smoke, a talking dog, you could...
The only passenger on a 747 flight, was a criminal who used his flying skills as a bargaining chip, to land the plane safely, in return for his freedom.
It was so Con-Decending...
My wife asked me "is it just me or is the dog getting fat?"
Apparently "it's just you" isn't the right answer....
Little Emily, ran into the house, crying as though her heart would break. “What’s wrong, dear?” asked her father. “My doll! Billy broke it!” she sobbed. “How did he break it, Emily?” “I hit him over...
I'm reading a horror story in braille.
Something bad is going to happen, I can feel it....
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, She heard her husband's car pull into the driveway. "Oh...
So I went down the local supermarket, I said "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it", he said "Those are pickled onions". ________ So I said to this train driver "I want to go to...
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