ChatterBank2 mins ago
We were so poor growing up, my Mum sent me next door with a button, to ask them to sew a shirt on it.
There was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday. They asked George to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning. George replied that he... ...
Last night, my wife and her friends went to a Ladies Night Club: One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a £10 note. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend... ...
Teacher: Why don't you brush your teeth? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning. Student: What did I have?
Teacher: Egg!
Student: You're wrong! That was yesterday!
___ Recently moved to a... ...
Teacher: Egg!
Student: You're wrong! That was yesterday!
___ Recently moved to a... ...
Shortly after the flight had taken off from Dublin to Boston a few weeks ago, the air stewardess announced that the catering department had made a terrible mistake. A big mix up meant that though... ...
Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in church in his life.
After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said,... ...
After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said,... ...
Noah's voyage diary: "Day 35: Unicorn pie is really delicious!"
Fred, a waiter who had worked in a small restaurant for 53 years, passed away one night. His wife, Lois was heartbroken without him; she spent several days contacting psychics, channelers, anyone... ...
A mathematician named Hall
Had a hexahedronic ball
And the cube of its weight
Times his ***, plus eight
Is his phone number, give him a call!
___
I don’t get out much these days.
I have a two foot... ...
Had a hexahedronic ball
And the cube of its weight
Times his ***, plus eight
Is his phone number, give him a call!
___
I don’t get out much these days.
I have a two foot... ...
I have a friend who entertains her guests by quickly calculating statistical averages.
Not exactly the life of the party, but she means well.
___
An investigative journalist should do a lot of... ...
Not exactly the life of the party, but she means well.
___
An investigative journalist should do a lot of... ...
Walking home from the pub last night I saw two old age pensioners holding hands. As they walked by I said to the old guy with a smile and a wink: "Have her home by ten now."
The elderly man stopped... ...
The elderly man stopped... ...
A brunette who really hated blondes was walking through the desert when she came across a magic lamp. After rubbing the lamp the genie told her that she got three wishes with one catch: All the... ...
Father: I hear you skipped school to play football
Son: No I didn't, and I have the fish to prove it!
Teacher: When was Rome built?
Pupil: At night.
Teacher: Why did you say that?
Pupil: Because my Dad... ...
My wife saw a cockroach in the kitchen this morning, I've never seen her work so hard scrubbing everywhere in the kitchen spotlessly clean.
Tomorrow, I'm going to put the fake cockroach in the... ...
Tomorrow, I'm going to put the fake cockroach in the... ...
My friend that has come into money is telling me that he is having his family tree researched. "Yes, and it is quite expensive, it cost £5,000." "Wow", I replied, "that is expensive!" "Yes, but it... ...
..the NHS saves money. https:/
My ex divorced me because she said I treated her like a maid.
But even the judge agreed that she should keep the house.
___ Kids, your mother and I are getting divorced.
She said she’s leaving me... ...
But even the judge agreed that she should keep the house.
___ Kids, your mother and I are getting divorced.
She said she’s leaving me... ...
A teacher asks her class to name things that end with TOR that eat things.
The first little boy says: "Alligator"
"Very good, that's a big word."
The second boy says: "Predator."
"Yes that's another... ...
The first little boy says: "Alligator"
"Very good, that's a big word."
The second boy says: "Predator."
"Yes that's another... ...
A recent study has revealed that 58% of marriages end in misery.
The other 42% end in divorce.
___ I divorced my cross-eyed wife.
We didn’t see eye to eye.
___
Judge: “On what grounds do you want a... ...
The other 42% end in divorce.
___ I divorced my cross-eyed wife.
We didn’t see eye to eye.
___
Judge: “On what grounds do you want a... ...
https:/
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