Quizzes & Puzzles0 min ago
I bought a deep-fat fryer off ebay. It was described as 'Used, but in very good condition'. When it arrived, it had a chip in it! ___ I was in my car driving back from work when a police officer...
For his wife's special day, he decided to give her a treat. He chose a lavish meal, followed by a night in a luxury hotel. When they arrived at the hotel, the manager welcomed the couple and presented...
A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand. "That's a...
A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's...
Did you know, the inventor of the refrigerator ended up a multi-millionaire with over 50 profitable domestic and industrial businesses? He was a fridge magnate. ___ Insomnia is terrible. But on the...
One day, during English class, Miss Figpot asked her class, "Who can tell me the meaning of indifferent?" The class fidgets a little, and they all look at one another. No one knows. Finally, Little...
Quiz of the week is tonight at 7pm. (british time) It only takes about 20 minutes and all easy questions and fun.
https:/
Beware - Brexit is like a dodgy surgeon who promises you a penis that will touch the ground ...
... and delivers this by chopping off your legs ...
ithenkyew :-)...
I want a refund on my new microwave, I put a potato in it, pressed the button saying 'Pizza' and when it was done....it was still a potato. ___ The only gift I got my wife for her birthday was a...
Who would have thought it? Apparently Fred Astaire's brother Stan made lifts! ___ I have just returned from an animal talent show. Two fish sang River Deep, Mountain High. They called themselves Pike...
A Bloke turns up at the local bus depot to start as a driver. He's shown how to change the numbers and destination signs, how to operate the doors, and how to issue tickets on the machine. "Ah, I...
Old John was fond of his garden. Each year when the best garden in the village competition came round, he won! Neighbours remarked on how nice it was and many walked past just to see it. One day, as...
There's these animals in a restaurant. The waiter comes over at the end of the night to collect for the drinks. The skunk says, "Don't look at me, I haven't got a scent." The duck says, "Just put it...
Sister Margaret had been a model nun all her life, but then she was called to her reward. As she approached the pearly gates, Saint Peter said "Hold on, Sister Margaret...not so fast!" "But I have...
My wife is like a newspaper. She has a new issue every day. ___ All day I’ve been pretending to be different types of wood..... I’m board now. ___ Friend of mine only dated women from Norwich He loved...
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor. More on this after the break. ___ When I die I want my ashes pressed into a record. It is my vinyl...
This guy went to the doctor and said to him "Doctor....I don't know what's wrong with me, but every time I fart, it sounds like the word HONDA". "That's interesting, never heard of anything like that...
A soccer hooligan is charged with disorderly conduct and assault after a match. The arresting officer states that the accused had thrown something into the river not far from the stadium. “What...
Yesterday I saw my neighbour kicking in his own door...
Turns out he's a burglar who started working from home....
My mate goes on Antiques Roadshow with a very rare vase. Fiona Bruce said "How did you acquire the vase" ? My mate said "It was handed down to me" Fiona said "Where from?" My mate said "An upstairs...
Latest Posts
Quizzes & Puzzles3 mins ago
Could All Help With Signing My Petition
Seasonal13 mins ago
Quizzes & Puzzles14 mins ago
Quizzes & Puzzles18 mins ago
Crosswords22 mins ago