Music7 mins ago
A lady was filling her tank at a petrol station, smoking a cigarette, even though all the signs say not to. The fumes that came out of the gas tank ignited, severely burning her hands. But it also lit...
A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies. This was his first time approaching a field during the night time. Instead of making any official requests to the tower he...
Mummy mummy, why do I keep going round in circles? Do you want me to nail your other foot to the floor? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Mummy mummy, why are we going to Australia? Shut up and keep...
Two men met each other on the beach at Majorca. One looked at the other and asked, "Are you brown from the sun?"
"No," replied the other, "I'm Smith from The Daily Mirror."...
A boss tells his new employee, "I'll give you 8 pounds an hour starting today and in three months, I'll raise it to 10 pounds an hour. So when would you like to start?" "I'll start in three months...
A man walks pass a beggar on the corner of the street where he works. The beggar holds out his one hand and the man drops a coin into his hand. One day the man walks pass the beggar again and notices...
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and...
A Little Three Year Old Boy Is Sitting On The Toilet. His Mother Thinks He Has Been In There Too Long, So She Goes In To See What's Up. The Little Boy Is Sitting On The Toilet Reading A Book. But...
A man walks into a jewellery store to buy his girlfriend an engagement ring. Looking behind the glass case, he comes across an exquisite band with a handsome-sized rock in its centre. "Excuse me sir,"...
While visiting a friend in the hospital a young man noticed several pretty nurses, each one of them was wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. “What does the pin signify?” he asked one of them....
This ad for a T-shirt amused me (a bit dated perhaps, but there you go). I have eliminated the Company as I don't want to he accused of Spamming. I can think of a few Abers who would gladly wear it...
A beautiful young woman, on an international flight, asked the priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favour?” “Of course you may. What can I do for you?” “Well, I bought this expensive electronic...
What would you do if you were walking up the stairs and someone dumped a whole gallon of fart spray on you as a prank?
"How long have you been driving without a rear light?" asked the policeman after pulling over a motorist. The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car, and gave a long, painful groan. He seemed...
After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute, the politician took £300 out of his wallet and placed it on the dressing table. "Thanks," she said. "But I only charge £20." "Twenty quid for the...
An elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, is shocked when the woman's doctor says she has a heart condition that could kill her at any time. She is to avoid stress, eat right, and...
"You admit having broken into the dress shop four times?" asked the judge. "Yes," answered the suspect. "And what did you steal?" "A dress, your honour," replied the suspect. "One dress?" echoed the...
What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot ?.
"Get out of my face!"...
The human hand holds 27 bones
Unless you're a frustrated male....
At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. "No woman," said one man, scornfully, "can keep a secret." "I don't know about that," answered a woman...
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