Although I've now gone bald, l still keep the comb I've had for nearly 20 years. I just can't part with it. ___ I've figured out how to avoid getting parking tickets, I've taken the windscreen wipers... ...
A dying husband is lying in his hospital bed. He looks at his wife and says, "Our seventh child looks very different to the other six. Please be honest with me, does he have a different father to... ...
A 5-year old girl went to visit her grandmother one day. She played with her dolls as grandma dusted the furniture. At one point, she looked up and asked: "Grandma, how come you don't have a... ...
A list of ten jokes only Scots would understand: 1. A Glasgow woman goes to the dentist and settles down in the chair. "Comfy?" asks the dentist. "Govan," she replies. 2. How many Spanish guys does it... ...
Kier Starmer was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the Labour leader if he... ...
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead show up for the same job interview.The brunette is the first one to go in, and after filling out the forms and going through the questions, the interviewer... ...
A young couple moved into a new neighbourhood. The next morning while they were eating breakfast, the young woman saw her neighbour hanging the wash outside. "That laundry is not very clean," she... ...
I recently went for a job interview at a sewage farm. The interview room had no chairs but a couple of stools. ___ I've opened a kitchenware shop in Jamaica selling casserole dishes. Pyrex of the... ...
I found this on the menu at the local cafe - idemx rilgl. I asked the waitress 'What is it?' She said 'Mixed grill' ___ North Korea now have a missile that can reach New York, and if it can make it... ...
A man and a woman are seated next to each other on a flight. They start eyeing each other, and both realize they want to do the same thing. He slips a condom out of his pocket, and she looks... ...
It is rumoured that Manchester United Football Club have failed to gain £143 million of sponsorship from a pet food company. Evidently they couldn't live up to 'Winalot'
I’ve just found out that a few months ago the pound shop has been taken over by the 99p shop, it took a while for the penny to drop. ___ I was walking along the beach this morning singing puppet on... ...