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Chipchopper

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Chipchopper
A hyena strolls up to the check in counter of the airport, and throws the rotting remains of a wildebeest onto the counter. The airport official shouts, "what the hell is this ?" and the hyena...
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Chipchopper
Santa, that is. I could tell, by the carbon footprints, he left all over the hearth rug....
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Chipchopper
When and what Chanel is it on ? tia...
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Chipchopper
Being rather short in stature, I've heard all the jokes: "you don't look happy" "where are the other six" etc, etc, but hey ho, must get to work...
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Chipchopper
Scientists have finally found an alternative to plastic food packaging, from processing seaweed. I'm wondering how soon, will this be rolled out, and also, is it possible for it to microwaveable ?...
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Chipchopper
A man peeks out of the bedroom window on a cold, grey winters morning, while his wife lays, still half asleep, in bed. She asks: "What's the weather like out there, Darling?" He replies, "It looks...
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Chipchopper
Is aged whiskey's significantly improved by great age ? For example, I ordered a 12 year single malt from a supermarket, which was substituted with a 5 year, aged one, of a different distillery....
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Chipchopper
Do they offer help to anyone to get back on their feet after a stay in hospital ?
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Chipchopper
One of my better skills is sleeping, I'm a natural. I can do it with my eyes closed
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Chipchopper
I was having trouble getting off to sleep at night, so I went along to see my doctor, and he told me to lay myself in a position on the edge of the bed, and I should soon drop off.
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Chipchopper
I once had a towelling shirt, but I took a lot of flannel for it...
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Chipchopper
How did Spartacus feel after a lion ate his wife ?. He was gladiator...
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Chipchopper
I've haddock to the gills with fish puns. People seem to say them just for the halibut...
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Chipchopper
The two survivors only got to 6" in my raised bed. I've now potted them up and returned them to the conservatory, where they started life, and I'm hoping they will over winter, and be ready to go next...
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Chipchopper
1st kipper: smoking is bad for your heath, donca know that ? 2nd kipper "it's okay, I have been cured"...
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Chipchopper
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. It turned out she was seeing someone else the whole time...
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Chipchopper
I wandered down the cheese aisle of my local supermarket in a dream-like state, and accidentally put my favourite Mexican cheese in someone else's shopping trolley. I was rudely brought to my senses...
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Chipchopper
I was walking past the police station yesterday when I saw a poster on the noticeboard saying "man wanted for robbery" So I decided to go in and apply for it....
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Chipchopper
My brother was arrested for feeding pigeons at the zoo. Apparently he was feeding them to the lions....
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Chipchopper
A teacher asked her class of seven-year-olds: "If I had 6 apples in one hand and 4 in the other, other, how many apples would have"? Little Johnny Was first to raise his hand, and says"very big hands,...

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First Previous 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 Next Last