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Chipchopper

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Chipchopper

Hops...

the drinking mans sprout
19:28 Sat 24th Dec 20164 answers, last by beso 22:40 Mon 26th Dec 2016
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Chipchopper

North Pole Poser

Q) How does the Inuit construction worker build homes ? A) Igloos em together!...
11:03 Mon 19th Dec 20163 answers, last by Berniecuddles2 12:43 Mon 19th Dec 2016
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Chipchopper

Loss Of An Old Friend

After a long struggle with vestibular syndrome, my old dog died yesterday and the place just don't seem the same without him and I miss him dearly. He was a gsd x and in time, I may start looking for...
09:50 Fri 09th Dec 201611 answers, last by lankeela 16:50 Wed 14th Dec 2016
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Chipchopper

Tiz The Season 2B Jolly...

A guy came round to sweep the chimney today. So, it being the season of goodwill an all, I offered him a cup of tea and a mince pie, to which he cheerfully excepted. To save some time, I heated the...
11:23 Tue 06th Dec 20164 answers, last by marval 18:21 Tue 06th Dec 2016
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Chipchopper

Christmas Decorations

I was outside earlier today on the edge of the woods collecting cones to adorn my christmas tree. The highways department was not too impressed when they caught up with me....
20:10 Mon 05th Dec 20169 answers, last by Chipchopper 22:14 Mon 05th Dec 2016
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Chipchopper

Deck The Halls

I was feeling a little down, so I decided to get into the festive mood and have a few glasses of wine. Decking the halls with boughs of holly seemed like a good idea at the time but for some reason Mr...
17:06 Sun 04th Dec 20162 answers, last by marval 21:42 Sun 04th Dec 2016
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Chipchopper

Builders & Strutters

When I went to the bank to draw out some money, I was told it was temporarily closed due to refurbishment works. There was a lot of men in overalls strutting around...... Counterfeiters apparently....
18:40 Fri 02nd Dec 20162 answers, last by Patsy33 21:17 Fri 02nd Dec 2016
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Chipchopper

Not Another Ruddy Duck!

Q, How do you turn a duck into a soul singer ?. A, Just pop it in the microwave until its Bill Withers....
17:54 Thu 01st Dec 20163 answers, last by Baldric 23:31 Fri 02nd Dec 2016
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Chipchopper

A Duck...

waddles into a pharmacy and asked for lip balm. "Will you be paying by card or cash" the sales assistant asks. "Oh, just put it on my bill" answers the duck....
10:32 Thu 01st Dec 20167 answers, last by marval 17:39 Thu 01st Dec 2016
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Chipchopper

He Was So Rude!

I went into a chemists store and asked the man if he had any sodium borate, err.... sodium tetraborate ? He looked at me in a quizzically and said: "Borax" ? I said to him "well if that's your...
17:30 Tue 29th Nov 20162 answers, last by Patsy33 18:21 Tue 29th Nov 2016
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Chipchopper

That Tarzan Guy...

Raised in the jungle by a bunch of apes. I always wondered....... How come he didn't have a beard??...
10:40 Tue 29th Nov 20163 answers, last by weecalf 14:07 Tue 29th Nov 2016
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Chipchopper

Grimestone Cowboy....

Whilst passing through Dallas recently, I met the wife of a cowboy, who was complaining bitterly about the huge pile of shirts that she has to iron for her husband. Howdy-pressing is that??...
17:01 Sun 27th Nov 201618 answers, last by Shaglene 11:23 Mon 28th Nov 2016
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Chipchopper

~Chocolate~

I opened mars bar recently. Discovered that martians, just love gin and tonic....
18:54 Fri 25th Nov 201633 answers, last by Chipchopper 19:45 Sat 26th Nov 2016
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Chipchopper

Easy Enough Mistake...

I often get confused with the words 'naturist' and 'naturalist', they're so similar. Probably why I got some odd looks from birdwatchers at the local nature reserve....
10:10 Fri 25th Nov 201611 answers, last by Chipchopper 17:48 Fri 25th Nov 2016
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Chipchopper

$

Son: "Mom can I get twenty bucks". Mom: "Do I look like I'm made of money?". Son: "Well isn't that what M.O.M. stands for ?"...
10:22 Wed 23rd Nov 20165 answers, last by Chipchopper 16:47 Wed 23rd Nov 2016
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Chipchopper

What The.....

A man went into a doctors surgery clutching his stomach. "what seems to be the problem ?" the doctor asks. "I've eaten something that has disagreed with me" the man replies. Doctor: "strip to the...
23:49 Mon 21st Nov 201613 answers, last by Mamyalynne 01:00 Tue 22nd Nov 2016
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Chipchopper

Keep It Clean

I hate doing the laundry!..........Sometimes I feel, just like throwing in the towel!
11:25 Sun 20th Nov 20168 answers, last by Arksided 14:52 Sun 20th Nov 2016
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Chipchopper

Grown Or Groan...

.Why did the gardener quit his job ? . . . . Because his celery wasn't high enough....
19:20 Fri 18th Nov 201613 answers, last by Togo 14:17 Sat 19th Nov 2016
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Chipchopper

The Scales Never Lie

A woman caught her husband holding in his stomach while standing on the bathroom scales. "That won't do any good Bruce, that's about as pointless as standing on one leg, you know" "Actually it helps a...
10:53 Mon 14th Nov 201615 answers, last by Togo 22:08 Mon 14th Nov 2016
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Chipchopper

O'h Dear

A Yorkshireman's wife sadly passes away. He decides to have the words 'She Was Thine' engraved on her head stone. He calls the stone mason, explains what he wants, then go's to see the stone a few...
12:03 Sun 13th Nov 20162 answers, last by marval 13:34 Sun 13th Nov 2016

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