excelsior-1 Member Profile in The AnswerBank

Time For A Laugh

Did you hear about the man who opened a yacht showroom? Sails went through the roof. My driving instructor told me, never brake if there's an animal in the road. You should have seen the look on the...

carrust

Execution

Englishman, Irishman, Welshman & Scotsman were captured by the Taliban, & were to to be executed. They were each given a last wish. Scotsman..I would like a 1,000 bagpipers & drummers as mine....

bibblebub

Shop Slogan

http://www.thepoke.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/BJ7JRa1CEAAPcRn.jpg-large.jpeg...

Jemisa

A Few Smiles For You!...

Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of the night next to some bird who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK! The wife's back on the warpath again. She...

grumpy01

Abide With Me

Who the hell were those four "singers" who ruined Abide with Me at the F.A. cup final last night.They were absolutely awful and there rendition of the Natioanal anthem wasn't much better.I know the...

emmie

Ideal Job

what would your ideal job be, one that you would have loved to do, or have done in the past, but didn't because of circumstances, money.. mine would be looking after animals in an animal sanctuary,...

waterboatman

Good Morning Early Birds!

It rained all the time I was on the boat yesterday. It's just as well I had my wet weather gear on, so I stayed nice and dry! :o} Today 'yer wee man' on the idiot box tells us it's going to rain about...

nungate

Mad Over Fifties Club

Good evening and welcome to all Mad Over Fifties as Nungate Towers throws open it's doors and bid you welcome. For your delight and entertainment we have an abundance of treats for you all. Our hot...

ChillDoubt

What Goes......?

Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! The Man City open top bus reversing back into the garage....

bednobs

Space Ships

could you make them any shape - after all aerodynamics don't matter in space do they?

excelsior-1

A Little Emotional

good afternoon all just got home from a round trip to coventry hospital, wherein resides my one remaining grand-parent (95), whom i visiited she was found by her friend unconscious on her floor, on...

cupid04

Quiet Here...

where is everybody?

Georgiesmum

Dinner Tonight.

Whats everyone having for dinner tonight? My son just made me homemade lasagne, new potatoes and salad. yum!

Tilly2

We Have Just Had An Enormous Hail Storm

and now it's thundering and lightning!

marval

Bribe

Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe." Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. "You, attorney Leon,...

Tilly2

For Those Of You Who've Had Or Still Got 'that' Cold....

It seems that a lot of us have had this stinking cold recently and are finding it difficult to shift. I have had mine for three weeks now and although the sneezing and nose blowing has finished, I am...

888

Birthday Time

Once again, I'm another year older today. Taking it easy (so far). Fish'n'chips for tea today, hurrah hurrah, the men will cheer and the boys will shout and the ladies they will all turn out,...

cupid04

A Wife...

A wife asks her husband: 'Would you like bacon and eggs for breakfast?' 'Thanks, but I'm not hungry,' he says. 'This viagra's really affected my appetite.' Come dinnertime , she suggests: 'Would you...

slinky.kate

What Is Your Favourite Biscuit

i love tunnocks caramel logs tea cakes-oooh yummy whats yours????????...