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excelsior-1

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Jeza

I Met Mic At The Age Of 27.........

Until then I had never uttered a swear word. My Dad always said people swear because they don't have the vocabulary to express themselves. Although Mic now does not swear as much as in the past, I now...
21:56 Fri 12th Apr 201341 answers, last by tamborine 23:19 Fri 12th Apr 2013
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excelsior-1

I Came Home The Other Day...

.. to find my girlfriend dipping twenty pound notes in batter and frying them. I said, "There you go again, frittering our money away!"...
18:22 Fri 12th Apr 201313 answers, last by Jemisa 22:43 Fri 12th Apr 2013
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ukanonymous

Automated Phone Calls

This is taking it one step too far do you not think? It was annoying enough with actual people calling you up now they are alway automated. How many other people get these and how often? I have had 2...
18:26 Fri 12th Apr 201326 answers, last by daisya 17:44 Sat 13th Apr 2013
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Tilly2

Anything Amusing Going On?

I've finished all my jobs. My husband has been despatched to the Bowling Club and I have two whole hours to myself. Having had a little weep this morning, I could do with a laugh. Is anything amusing...
14:16 Fri 12th Apr 201356 answers, last by Tilly2 18:49 Fri 12th Apr 2013
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wendilla

Spacestation Sightings Over England This Evening

1st sighting 9 43pm for 4 mins WSW departing E 2nd sighting 11 19 for 1 min W departing W No sightings for Scotland. Raining here in Leics so don't hold out much hope....
17:57 Fri 12th Apr 20132 answers, last by askyourgran 21:00 Fri 12th Apr 2013
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excelsior-1

Oblivion

just got back from seeing it if anyone is un-decided about going, i will only say that it is a very interesting plot I thoroughly enjoyed the movie...
17:05 Fri 12th Apr 201312 answers, last by nungate 20:12 Sat 20th Apr 2013
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frugalfred

Exam Howlers

STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN. 1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF...
17:27 Fri 12th Apr 20136 answers, last by pixie373 13:57 Thu 06th Jun 2013
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Jemisa

Rip.

I heard today that yesterday the bloke who invented 'Velcro' died. RIP....
12:11 Fri 12th Apr 20138 answers, last by marval 22:14 Fri 12th Apr 2013
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Smowball

The Irishmans Directions.

An Irishman walked into a pub and said to the barman, " Do you know the quickest way to Dublin?" "Walking or driving?" asked the barman. " Driving". "Yep,thats the quickest way" said the barman........
12:14 Fri 12th Apr 20132 answers, last by excelsior-1 17:19 Fri 12th Apr 2013
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bibblebub

Formula 1 Film - Rush

Most motor racing films have been average, at best, but will this buck the trend?
14:59 Tue 09th Apr 201315 answers, last by excelsior-1 17:02 Fri 12th Apr 2013
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excelsior-1

Has Anybody Seen...

...that line of text at the top of the screen? 'the answerbank will have a MASSAGE at 9pm...
20:33 Thu 11th Apr 201323 answers, last by murraymints 22:09 Thu 11th Apr 2013
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Gizmonster

A Girl Has A Baby And The Midwife Says, "he's Black" ..........

.............................. The girl says, "I needed money, so I did a porn film and the guy was black". The midwife says, "he's also got blonde hair". "Well, the other man in the film was blonde",...
20:27 Thu 11th Apr 20131 answer, last by excelsior-1 20:34 Thu 11th Apr 2013
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cupid04

Gym.

An old man working out in the gym when he spots a gorgeous young woman. Flexing his pecs, he asks the trainer, 'What machine should I use to impress that sweet young thing over there?' The trainer...
18:26 Wed 10th Apr 20133 answers, last by excelsior-1 16:26 Thu 11th Apr 2013
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magicmick

Dr Smith

A gorgeous blond went to see Dr Smith about her flat chest, he said "what you need to do every morning in the shower is rub you breast's and say scoobie doobie doobies I want bigger boobies" so this...
23:01 Wed 10th Apr 20135 answers, last by askyourgran 22:43 Fri 12th Apr 2013
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Jemisa

The Tourist....

A British tourist was having coffee and croissants in a French caf'e with butter and jam when an American, chewing gum, sat next to him. The Brit politely ignored him, who, never the less started up a...
23:21 Wed 10th Apr 20135 answers, last by marval 22:45 Fri 12th Apr 2013
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Smowball

Phone Sex....

A woman was admitted to hospital afte phone sex. Doctors found 3 Nokia's,2 Motorola's and a Samung. No Siemen was found..........
07:51 Thu 11th Apr 20135 answers, last by marval 18:20 Thu 11th Apr 2013
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Jemisa

Ending It All...

A very old woman nearly 90 realises that she's seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to...
14:16 Thu 11th Apr 20135 answers, last by frugalfred 16:51 Thu 11th Apr 2013
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Jemisa

Football In Heaven?

Two old men, Bert and Stan, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about Football. Bert turns to Stan and asks, "Do you think there's Football in Heaven?" Stan thinks about it for a minute...
14:55 Thu 11th Apr 20133 answers, last by nannybooby 16:18 Thu 11th Apr 2013
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waterboatman

Good Morning Early Birds!

Thursday. It's a lot milder this morning. There was some mizzle about earlier while I was out, but it's stopped now. It's just been said on the idiot box that it will be much warmer by the weekend,...
05:26 Thu 11th Apr 2013109 answers, last by sara3 08:35 Thu 11th Apr 2013
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Iluvspikey

Reincarnation - What's Your Opinion

I ask because I've had the most extraordinary conversation this afternoon.....with a 3 year old
19:17 Wed 10th Apr 201342 answers, last by daisya 22:07 Thu 11th Apr 2013

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