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marval

2001 to 2020 of 3998

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marval

Another Three

A local fire department got a call that a flock of geese had become stuck in a frozen lake. A rescue team crawled out onto the ice, pushing a boat and ice-breaking tools. They got within three yards...
17:36 Tue 03rd Dec 2013
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marval

Read One Get Two Free

Tony, having his second son christened, was much concerned about getting the correct name on the birth certificate. "Will you please name the baby just as I give it to you?" "Certainly," answered the...
17:25 Tue 03rd Dec 20132 answers, last by jim360 23:47 Tue 03rd Dec 2013
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marval

Send A Bill.

A large shipping company had problems with one of their ships, the ship's engine failed. The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine. Then...
23:35 Mon 02nd Dec 20134 answers, last by aelmpvw 12:59 Tue 03rd Dec 2013
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marval

Bedtime Story

A girl of seven walked into her mother's bedroom and asked her to tell her a bedtime story. The mother wasn't thrilled with the request. She said, "It's almost two in the morning." "I know, Mummy, but...
10:54 Sun 01st Dec 20132 answers, last by frozengal 05:27 Tue 03rd Dec 2013
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marval

Time For A Laugh

Visiting his parents' retirement village, a middle-aged man, Tim, went for a swim in the community pool while his elderly father took a walk. Tim struck up a conversation with the only other person in...
15:13 Fri 29th Nov 20132 answers, last by starone 10:48 Mon 02nd Dec 2013
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marval

Are You This Creative?

A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay. It had to contain these four elements: religion, royalty, sex and mystery. The prize-winning essay read. "My God," said the...
22:10 Thu 28th Nov 20139 answers, last by johnmansfield 10:36 Fri 29th Nov 2013
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marval

Were You Gambling?

A rabbi and his two friends, a priest and a minister, played poker for small stakes once a week. The only problem was that they lived in a very conservative blue-law town. The sheriff raided their...
19:31 Thu 28th Nov 20134 answers, last by Killia66 09:43 Thu 04th Oct 2018
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marval

Toilet Humour

I entered a competition where the 1st prize is a toilet and the last prize is a toilet I thought to myself I'm in a win loos situation here Husband: "Every time I hit you, you never fight back. How do...
16:30 Thu 28th Nov 2013
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marval

Sexual Relations

An elderly lady is sitting next to her husband of 59 years. "whatever happened to our sexual relations," he asks. "I really don’t know," she replies. "We didn’t even get a Christmas card from them...
17:42 Wed 27th Nov 2013
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marval

Flasher

At one ad agency, a man in production was fired when they discovered he was the Xerox Flasher. Every morning, he xeroxed his privates, made copies and left them in the secretary's desks. The boss said...
13:58 Tue 26th Nov 20131 answer, last by starone 19:10 Tue 26th Nov 2013
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marval

Man's Excuse

A man walks up to a woman sitting alone at a bar. "Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned.I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next...
17:03 Mon 25th Nov 20132 answers, last by tonyav 18:15 Mon 25th Nov 2013
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marval

Do You Shake It?

A bunch of guys were sitting around the break room talking about sex and women of course and in comes Joe. One guy says to the other guys, "Man I just don't understand it. That guy Joe is just an...
16:07 Mon 25th Nov 20133 answers, last by marval 16:27 Mon 25th Nov 2013
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marval

Two Blondes

Two blondes were talking. One was explaining to the other how the Good Lord often compensates for a person's natural deficiencies. "You see," he said, "If someone is a bit blind he might have a very...
17:40 Sun 24th Nov 20131 answer, last by excelsior-1 18:08 Sun 24th Nov 2013
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marval

Staying Power

On our last holiday, my husband and I saved some money by staying in a cheap hotel. Just as we were falling asleep, we heard the sounds of mattress springs and a banging headboard from the next room....
14:45 Sun 24th Nov 20133 answers, last by JonnyBoy12 17:28 Sun 01st Dec 2013
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marval

Sheepish

A saleswoman from a major condom company was required to travel cross-country to meet a prospective buyer. Her boss asked her to take about 100 condoms of various types with her. As she was running...
22:48 Sat 23rd Nov 20137 answers, last by lady-janine 10:01 Sun 24th Nov 2013
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marval

Three For The Price Of One

One day a woman was holding her six month old nephew and the baby kept grabbing her nose. Her husband, thinking he was being clever, said, "Well you know Hun, babies grab the biggest thing they see."...
15:05 Sat 23rd Nov 20132 answers, last by jim360 15:08 Sat 23rd Nov 2013
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marval

Signs

Local hospital sign: Give blood...it was meant to circulate. TV repair shop sign: Do it yourself...then call us. Poultry farm sign: Better laid than ever. Cleaning shop sign: Bring us your pressing...
21:38 Fri 22nd Nov 20132 answers, last by maggiebee 09:56 Sat 23rd Nov 2013
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marval

Eight Inches

A lorry driver stopped to pick up a female hitchhiker wearing really short shorts. "Say, what's your name, mister?" she inquired, after she climbed up in the truck. "It's Snow ... Roy Snow," he...
21:04 Fri 22nd Nov 20132 answers, last by maggiebee 12:05 Sat 23rd Nov 2013
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marval

Three Animals

A tom cat and a tabby cat were courting on a back fence at night. The tom leaned over to the tabby with pent up passion and purred... "I'll die for you!" The tabby gazed at him from under lowered eye...
17:15 Fri 22nd Nov 20131 answer, last by starone 19:55 Fri 22nd Nov 2013
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marval

Immigrant Style

An illegal immigrant picks up a hooker. 'Hey, how much you charge for da hour, sister?' he asks. '£100,' she replies. In broken English he says 'Do you do Immigrant Style?' 'No' she says. 'I pay you...
18:58 Thu 21st Nov 20133 answers, last by frozengal 05:10 Fri 22nd Nov 2013

2001 to 2020 of 3998

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