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marval

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marval

Forget The Housework Ladies

She dug the plot on Monday The soil was rich and fine She forgot to thaw out dinner So we went out to dine She planted roses Tuesday She says they are a must They really are quite lovely But she quite...
15:13 Sat 16th Aug 20143 answers, last by cupid04 15:20 Sat 16th Aug 2014
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marval

Big Mug

A woman goes into an antique shop and says to the owner. "When I was in here last week I saw a big mug with a flat head that holds a lot of beer. I’d like to buy it." "Sorry," replied the owner,...
21:55 Fri 15th Aug 20144 answers, last by marval 22:08 Fri 15th Aug 2014
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marval

A Little

Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall. As he turned and sneered at me, I thought. "That's a little condescending"....
17:25 Thu 14th Aug 20146 answers, last by cupid04 19:18 Thu 14th Aug 2014
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marval

Food And Drink

An explosion in a cheese shop leaves de-Brie everywhere. Average gumbo is only medi-okra. Dieting is wishful shrinking. How to make leek soup: first you get a pot and then you take a leek. Why did the...
22:18 Wed 13th Aug 2014
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marval

Where Is?

There was once a sheep farmer who needed help with the difficult task of castrating some of his inferior male sheep to keep them from breeding with the females. He hired a French guy who didn't speak...
19:07 Tue 12th Aug 20149 answers, last by Bazile 14:57 Wed 13th Aug 2014
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marval

Fire

A man's house is on fire. He runs out of the house with his son and tells him to wait outside. Then he runs back in and gets his daughter and brings her outside. Then he rescues his wife. Then the...
17:27 Mon 11th Aug 20143 answers, last by Old_Geezer 17:33 Mon 11th Aug 2014
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marval

A Man

A man walks into a deli and sits at a table. The waitress comes over and asks him what he wants. He says "I'll start with some chopped liver." She yells to the kitchen "one chopped liver" Then he says...
20:56 Sun 10th Aug 20143 answers, last by heathfield 17:04 Fri 15th Aug 2014
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marval

What

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta...
16:54 Sun 10th Aug 201413 answers, last by stoofur 10:37 Mon 11th Aug 2014
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marval

Confession

A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he...
15:19 Sun 10th Aug 20141 answer, last by Canary42 15:20 Sun 10th Aug 2014
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marval

Dear Doctor

Dear Doctor, I wish to have a vasectomy. My reasons are numerous and after being married for seven years, and having a child each year, I know that contraceptives are absolutely useless. After getting...
23:03 Sat 09th Aug 20147 answers, last by Peaspeculiars 18:32 Mon 11th Aug 2014
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marval

Doctors

"Doctors at a hospital in London, England have gone on strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what the Doctors' demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the...
16:43 Sat 09th Aug 20147 answers, last by heathfield 17:24 Sun 10th Aug 2014
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marval

Doctor Sqad

A man goes to see Doctor Sqad and says. "Doctor, my wife in unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy....
17:43 Thu 07th Aug 20148 answers, last by maggiebee 18:57 Thu 07th Aug 2014
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marval

Ouch

Police announce a lead in the case of a man terrorising nudist camps with a bacon slicer. Apparently they had a tip-off this morning...
21:34 Wed 06th Aug 20149 answers, last by cupid04 12:59 Thu 07th Aug 2014
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marval

Who?

Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony? The guy who can carry a cup of coffee and a dozen doughnuts. Who is the most popular girl at a nudist colony? The girl who can eat the last doughnut....
21:24 Wed 06th Aug 201438 answers, last by tonyav 21:56 Wed 06th Aug 2014
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marval

Another Nudist Camp

A guy joined a nudist camp and when he told his mum she didn't believe him. So he sent her a picture of his top half. A week later his grandma wanted a picture but he accidently sent the bottom half....
21:16 Wed 06th Aug 20144 answers, last by pixie373 21:20 Wed 06th Aug 2014
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marval

Sshh

A blonde walks into a library and asks the librarian. "Can I have a burger and fries?" She replies, "Sorry, this is a library." The blonde whispers, "Oh, sorry. May I have a burger and fries?"...
22:00 Tue 05th Aug 20142 answers, last by factor-fiction 08:47 Mon 11th Aug 2014
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marval

Don't People Spellcheck?

This is part of a dessert menu at a pub near here in Buckinghamshire. You would think they would have spellchecked or at least read it through first. English Cheeseboard – £8.30 A selection of 4...
19:02 Tue 05th Aug 201419 answers, last by aelmpvw 16:44 Wed 06th Aug 2014
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marval

Getting The Herd In

For any farmers on here, this is how you round up the cattle. Animals clearly do like music. http://news.sky.com/story/1313311/kansas-farmer-wows-the-cows-with-trombone...
16:09 Tue 05th Aug 20143 answers, last by jno 18:55 Tue 05th Aug 2014
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marval

G R O A N

Once upon a time in old France there was a small vineyard run by a coven of witches. The grapes that grew there were used exclusively for the production of raisins, and were always harvested under a...
19:26 Mon 04th Aug 201412 answers, last by askyourgran 20:06 Mon 04th Aug 2014
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marval

Irish Tickets

Paddy and Mick go to a rugby match. Mick searches everywhere but can't find the tickets. Paddy says Mick "Nip home and see if I left the tickets there." "No problem says Paddy. Half an hour later...
22:51 Sun 03rd Aug 20142 answers, last by marval 22:55 Sun 03rd Aug 2014

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