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Patsy33

801 to 820 of 1971

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Patsy33
A friend had bred a messenger pigeon with a woodpecker. Not only does it deliver a message, it knocks the door when it gets there....
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Patsy33
My poor husband thought he would be in and out of day surgery today. Unfortunately, he's been very sick with anaesthetic. So has to stay in tonight. They will ring me tomorrow regards coming out....
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Patsy33
Went to the shop today to buy some lemons and apples, but they didn’t have any. It was a fruitless trip....
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Patsy33
I haven't seen the new film 'Tractor' yet but I've seen the trailer.. ..
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Patsy33
What's that old song called that a lot of us could play on piano as kids? like a quickened version of ' Just the way you look tonight? Maybe it is that? Can you help please?
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Patsy33
I bought a new plane the other day. Disappointed they wouldn't let me keep the hangar though...
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Patsy33
Apparently, it's good to talk to your plants. I tried teaching mine mathematics but they ended up with square roots.
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Patsy33
Not sure about my trendy new local cafe. It fills me with uncertain tea.
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Patsy33
A friend of mine used to install kitchen work tops. He's now been arrested for counter fitting...
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Patsy33
My husband said his Mother use to tuck him in every night. She always wanted a daughter......
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Patsy33
My friend can’t afford to pay his water bill. I’ve sent him a Get Well Soon card....
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Patsy33
I've been listening to 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow" updated version. When listening to it, I keep hearing Jessie J' s 'Price Tag'! Can anybody else hear the same chords in parts of it??...
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Patsy33
A weasel walks into a bar, the bartender says “I’ve never served a weasel before, what can I get you?” “Pop” goes the weasel....
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Patsy33
The Internet has become too politically correct! What's all this nonsense about disabled cookies? In my day they were called broken biscuits....
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Patsy33
https://youtu.be/UNGDuiVfAq0...
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Patsy33
If you are attacked by an artist wielding an etching tool — run! For you are engrave danger....
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Patsy33
I was planning a trip to Australia. I was asked if I had a criminal record. I replied, "I wasn't aware you still need one"...
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Patsy33
I told my mate to get me a newspaper. "Don't be silly", he replied. "Borrow my iPad" That spider never knew what ****ing hit him!"...
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Patsy33
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=brcdnJ0h3pk...
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Patsy33
https://www.facebook.com/TheSportsmancom/videos/590703397992857/...

801 to 820 of 1971

First Previous 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 Next Last