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Patsy33

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marval
At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, "We apologise for the inconvenience,...
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Jackdaw33
...it suddenly struck me that I have not seen any bars of toffee around for years and years. Can you still get them?
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Patsy33
I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really, it was just a play on words.
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ethandron
We have friends coming round later so I've made a start on Chicken Basque a la Delia, will finish it off once they're here, we're having it with some fancy bread. Pud is Madeira cake with...
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Patsy33
I used to be a banker, but I lost interest....
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Shaglene
Bob, an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye. “What happened to you?” asked his wife. “I had a terrible day” replied Bob. “I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in...
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Patsy33
It was about the late eighties, if I remember correctly, in N.Somerset. My mother, who couldn't sleep very well due to arthritis in her knee, got up to take some painkillers and made herself a drink....
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skyplus
Am too embarrassed to go to a medic. My fingers are very fat. I feel like sitting on my hands all the time. Is there anything I can do?
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Patsy33
My doctor thinks I'm taking hallucinogenic drugs. How do I know? Let's just say a little bird told me.......
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Patsy33
There's a sign on the lawn outside the re-hab centre saying, Keep off the grass...
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maggiebee
So! I'm eating a bacon bap. The bacon starts telling funny jokes for half an hour. I thought. "You're on a roll !"...
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Patsy33
A new type of broom has come out. It is sweeping the nation.......
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maggiebee
One of my mates died under a falling piano... The funeral was very low key...made me think if it was orchestrated...
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marval
My boss accused me of "acting the monkey" at work. I almost choked on my banana...
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Patsy33
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor said I was ok but I feel as if I dyed a little inside.....
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Patsy33
Don't trust people that do acupuncture. They're back stabbers....
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Patsy33
The girl quit her job at the doughnut factory. She was fed up with the hole business.....
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anotheoldgit
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/05/28/01/34B1F1F700000578-0-image-a-26_1464394061375.jpg Cameron feeds one of his sheep with milk instead of lies....
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Patsy33
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming...
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dunroamin
25a.For this reason No.2 goes down (3,3) -a-c-t Agriword 846 23a. A greek character finds a clergyman in the outskirts of Kampala (5) --p-a Many thanks...

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