He turns to his wife in bed and whispers "Did you know it's National Orgasm Day?"
"Oh, what a pity," she smiled, "Right in the middle of National Headache Week !!"...
A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. "Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt," the golfer mumbles to himself. Just then, a stranger walks up beside...
It was the happiest day of my life.
I arrived at the church and by then my husband was waiting at the altar.
I walked up the aisle, kissed him on the cheek, smiled........
And closed the lid....
As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's...
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?' 'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.' __________ A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:...
An Irishman goes to the Doctor with botty problems.... 'Dactor, it's me ahrse.. I'd like ya ta teyhk a look, if ya woot'. So the doctor gets him to drop his pants and takes a look. 'Incredible'he...
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. 'I'd like...
One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife, pinched her on the butt and said...'If you firmed this up, we could get rid of your control top pantyhose.' While this was on the edge...
Two Irishmen flew to Canada on a hunting trip. They chartered a small plane to take them into the Rockies for a week hunting moose. They managed to bag 6. As they were loading the plane to return, the...
Bill and his wife Blanche go to the Yorkshire Show every year, and every year Bill would say, " Blanche, I'd like to ride in that there 'elicopter" Blanche always replied, " I know Bill, but that...
Well, one day Harry the Eagle waited at the nest for Mary, his darling of 10 glorious years. After a while when she didn't return he went looking and found her. She had been shot dead! Harry was...
A little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents bedroom. Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy , every night I hear you and daddy...
Getting Married Jack, age 92, and Gill, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a chemist shop and Jack...
The mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law Paddy in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase. "What happened Paddy?" she asks anxiously. "What happened!! I'll tell...
On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift token from his wife. The token paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile...
It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1960, and James had a date with Annabella. He arrived at her house and rang the bell... 'Oh, come on in!' Annabella's mother said as she welcomed James....
A woman asks her husband at breakfast time, “Would you like some bacon & eggs, toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?” He declines. “Thanks for asking, but I’m not hungry right...
A English salesman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo, Japan . . . Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on...
