Voltage Member Profile in The AnswerBank

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like...

Grumpy Pharmacist................

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times...

Chipchopper

Rocket Science

I bought a bag of rocket salad the other day. When I went to get it from the fridge, it had gone off!...

Voltage

Black Friday Sale!!

For sale, broken canary. Not going cheap. For sale, broken quiz machine. No questions asked. For sale, packet of polo's Unopened, mint condition. For Sale, limited edition bottle of Tippex It's a...

Jahulaye

What Are Your Plans This Weekend?

Seems a lot is afoot, the weathers getting colder, Black Friday is here and the momentum of Xmas is starting to build. Me am going out shopping, then later a drink with friends, some food and maybe a...

Voltage

Cooked Dinner...

My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner... So I took the battery out of the smoke detector!...

Patsy33

Madonna

Madonna at an African florists: "I'd like some flowers please", "Orchids?", "no, just the flowers thanks"....

mccfluff

Does Anyone Know

What the owners of this van use it for, it was parked outside my gym this morning and at first I thought it was the google streeview but theirs have signage on....

queenofmean

Nearly Time

I’m so anxious, my fight and flight mode is well and truly kicked in - flight more than fight. Wish me luck - I’m going to need it!...

Voltage

Crystal Ball.

last night went to see a psychic and accidentally broke her crystal ball. It cost me a fortune....

Shaglene

Women Who Know Their Place

In Kabul, Afghanistan it was noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands before the conflict. On returning recently to Kabul it was observed that women still walk behind their...

Voltage

In A Restaurant

I was arguing with the wife in a restaurant when my best mate ran off with the garlic bread, macho peas and coleslaw. I wish he would stop taking sides!...

Patsy33

What Message..

What message did Bach have on his answering machine? "This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."...

cupid04

On The Run...

A naked man was on the run and broke into a church. The police chased after him and finally caught him by the organ....

queenofmean

Brown And Runs

What’s brown and runs around the Garden? The Garden Fence I’ll get my coat ;)...

Voltage

In The Shower!

The Mrs got in the shower with me this morning. She said “Mmmmm baby, I want you to do bad things to me.” So I put shampoo in her eyes....

gordiescotland1

Severe Pain In Toe 2 Weeks After Nail Removal And Hot

It is 2 weeks tomorrow since I had my nail removed and up until now it has been relatively ok my mum has been changing the dressing every 3 days as instructed and she is a retired nurse with over 50...

Voltage