Voltage Member Profile in The AnswerBank

Old Proverb.

The early bird might catch the worm, but the second mouse always gets the cheese.

At The Nursing Home!

A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home. The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window. After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive...

Chipchopper

In A Cafe...

A Frenchman ordered one egg on toast for his breakfast. The waitress later came to his table and asked "are you sure that will that be sufficient sir ?. "Yes, thats enoeuf" He replied....

ToraToraTora

The Eu In Verse......

Won’t you join our Common Market?’ said the spider to the fly, It really is a winner and the cost is not too high’ ‘I know De Gaulle said ’’ Non’’, but he hadn’t got a clue, ‘We...

Caran

Went shopping in Morrisons. OH spotted their curry. It is advertised as the hottest curry on the market. It's called a volcanic curry. Well he ate it tonight. What a performance. He coughed, sneezed,...

Shaglene

The Change................

A Glaswegian took his wife to the local A&E, she had two black-eyes and a broken arm. The doctor asked ‘What had happened to her?’ The husband replied that ‘She was going through the change.’...

Patsy33

People

People in glass cake shops. Shouldn't throw scones...

Shaglene

Its Common Sense...........

1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF. 2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY...

Voltage

My Audition

I failed my audition as Romeo through a misunderstanding over a stage direction. My copy of the script said: 'Enter Juliet from the rear' they threw me out!...

MM305

What Is Your Biggest Guilty Pleasure Song/artist/band?

Now, don't make this post about me because it is made for you folks! If you do not have a guilty pleasure, just say so or don't answer. Otherwise, don't feel scare to share your guilty pleasure(s)...

Shaglene

The Ears............

A young man moved into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing a...

Shaglene

A Treat...........

A Scotsman and his wife walked past a swanky new restaurant. "Did you smell that food?" she asked. "Incredible!" Being a 'kind-hearted Scotsman', he thought, "What the heck..., I'll treat her!" So,...

Voltage

A-Level Results

Despite getting A-level results of A, B, B, A..... it seems that no employer will take a chance on me.

Patsy33

Neighbour

I saw my neighbour slumped over the lawn mower crying his eyes out, he said he’d just been through a rough patch....

Patsy33

I Phoned

I phoned the local ramblers club today, but the bloke who answered just went on and on........

237SJ

Train Stops

For buses, I use this site http://www.londonbusroutes.net/routes.htm Is there an equivalent site for trains lines? I am trying to get somewhere in December and I have to keep trying different stations...

ToraToraTora

Should We Be Rationing Health Care For Fatties And Smokers?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-politics-41988545/should-healthcare-be-rationed-for-patients-who-smoke-or-are-obese On the basis that more or less any sort of health care need can be put down as "self...

Voltage