Quizzes & Puzzles5 mins ago
Two train drivers chatting over a pint or two :-
First Driver: How many derailments have you experiences Jack?
Second Driver: Hard to say Bill, it's difficult to keep track...
A truckie walks into an outback cafe with a full-grown emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?'...
What do you call James Bond in the bath?
Bubble 07...
(I'll get me coat)...
A Priest, a Rabbit and an Imam turn up at the blood bank together.
'Excuse me, Rabbit' said the nurse, 'Do you know which blood group you are'?
' I think' said the Rabbit 'I must be a type O'....
The South Downs aren't just funny. They're hill areas.
We got lucky when we heard the old Cross Lanes Hotel was closing and its beautiful maple doors became available for sale as salvage items. We bought several and had them installed in our 19th-century...
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I have just quit my job at the cat shelter.
I had no choice as they reduced meowers!!...
"I think people who sell meat for a living are absolutely disgusting" said one shopper to another.
"Well, in their defence" said the other shopper, "I think those who sell vegetables are grocer"...
Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are. The first one tells her friends, "my son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him...
I heard about a new children's adventure story featuring Pavlov's dogs and Schrödinger's cat so I went to the library to see if I could borrow it. The librarian said it rang a bell, but she didn't...
I accidently drank a bottle of disappearing ink.
I'm now sat in A&E waiting to be seen......
who corrected the grammar in one of my jokes last week
I think fewer of you ! Lol...
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills?
Bernadette....
A blonde girl was going on her first date and her grandmother gave her some advice: "The boy may try to kiss you -- it will feel good, but don't do it. He may try to go up your skirt -- but don't let...
Guy takes his girlfriend home after a date and they share a passionate kiss on her doorstep. He can tell she is getting aroused, so he confidently leans against the wall nd says, "Can i take your...
What do you call a cyclist who wears a hollowed out pumpkin on his head for a crash helmet ?.
Gourdon...
"Did you hear about that American actress who got stabbed?" "No, who was it?"
"I don't know, Reese something or other."
"Witherspoon?"
"No I believe it was with a knife."...
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Two gay gentlemen are walking through a zoo. They come across the gorillas and after a while they notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection. The gay men are fascinated by this. One of the...
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