Animals & Nature3 mins ago
A man enters a confessional and says to the Irish Priest, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I've had sex with Fannie Green every week for the last month." The priest tells the...
The South Downs aren't just funny. They're hill areas.
I have just quit my job at the cat shelter.
I had no choice as they reduced meowers!!...
"I think people who sell meat for a living are absolutely disgusting" said one shopper to another.
"Well, in their defence" said the other shopper, "I think those who sell vegetables are grocer"...
Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are. The first one tells her friends, "my son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him...
I was sitting next to an elderly ecclesiastical gentleman on a plane recently who was doing a crossword, after a long pause in his labour he turned to me and said, "Can you think of a four letter word...
I heard about a new children's adventure story featuring Pavlov's dogs and Schrödinger's cat so I went to the library to see if I could borrow it. The librarian said it rang a bell, but she didn't...
I accidently drank a bottle of disappearing ink.
I'm now sat in A&E waiting to be seen......
who corrected the grammar in one of my jokes last week
I think fewer of you ! Lol...
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills?
Bernadette....
A blonde girl was going on her first date and her grandmother gave her some advice: "The boy may try to kiss you -- it will feel good, but don't do it. He may try to go up your skirt -- but don't let...
Guy takes his girlfriend home after a date and they share a passionate kiss on her doorstep. He can tell she is getting aroused, so he confidently leans against the wall nd says, "Can i take your...
What do you call a cyclist who wears a hollowed out pumpkin on his head for a crash helmet ?.
Gourdon...
"Did you hear about that American actress who got stabbed?" "No, who was it?"
"I don't know, Reese something or other."
"Witherspoon?"
"No I believe it was with a knife."...
An old country farmer with serious financial problems bought a mule from another old farmer for £100, who agreed to deliver the mule the next day. However, the next day he drove up and said, "Sorry,...
Did you know that if you were to tear a hole in a fishing net it would have less holes. (;¬)...
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Two gay gentlemen are walking through a zoo. They come across the gorillas and after a while they notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection. The gay men are fascinated by this. One of the...
I was sitting next to an elderly ecclesiastical gentleman on a plane recently who was doing a crossword, after a long pause in his labour he turned to me and said, "Can you think of a four letter word...
My MiL stayed to dinner with us yesterday and asked why the dog kept staring at her. I told her it was probably because she was using his plate..
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