Why Should We Store Tins Of Beans Upside...
Food & Drink1 min ago
A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes to the German hell and asks, 'What do they do here?' He told, 'First they put you in an electric...
There was a ventriloquist who had no work for six months. He went to his agent and told him he needed work badly. The agent said, "There's no call for ventriloquists, but if you were a psychic I could...
A German and an Englishman are having a conversation in the park when suddenly a young girl falls into the lake. They both rush in to save her, but when they emerge she’s unconscious. The Englishman...
One beautiful December evening Pedro and his girlfriend Rosita were sitting on the beach by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, baby, let's do Weeweechu." "Oh...
A century ago lots of people had horses but only the rich had cars.
Now loads of people have cars, but only the rich have horses.
The stables have turned....
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So she phones me last night, and says “Come on over, no one’s home!”
Well I shot round, but when I got there, there was no one home....
My mate asked me if I thought he was fat. I told him I know 3 fat people and he is two of them. __________ I heard that John Lennon's wife will be appearing in panto this year... Ono she isn't....
I spent the last three days alone trying to learn escapology.
I need to get out more....
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A man peeks out of the bedroom window on a cold, grey winters morning, while his wife lays, still half asleep, in bed. She asks: "What's the weather like out there, Darling?" He replies, "It looks...
I said to the missus, "How do we stop the kids from finding their Christmas presents?" She said, "Put them in the loft." I said, "That's a bit cruel but I will give it a go. Jackets on kids up you...
I’ll never forget what my late uncle said to me.
He said, "I’m sorry I’m late"....
Being rather short in stature, I've heard all the jokes: "you don't look happy" "where are the other six" etc, etc, but hey ho, must get to work...
Venison’s dear, isn’t it?...
A car hit an elderly man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."...
They are now talking about banning glitter this Christmas… Its been on the cards for years! _____________ When the Spanish Armada was approaching the Queen said to Drake, "Do you have sufficient...
As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden.
The plot thickens....
Claustrophobia a fear of having presents delivered by an old man in a sleigh?
