An elderly couple entered a McDonald’s store and sat next to a table where some young people were having dinner. The old man walked over to the box and made the order for him. He unwrapped the... ...
By the time the sailor pulled into a little town every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room... ...
This guy was staggering along the road, much the worse for the drink, throwing empty beer cans into the street and falling into peoples gardens. His singing gained the attention of a passing... ...
I was in a Café happily dipping my biscuits in other people's tea and they called the police... Said I was Dunkin' disorderly. ___ I stayed at a hotel yesterday and couldn't help noticing that some... ...
Wife: Can I cut my hair and make it short? Husband: Cut it. W: I took lot of efforts to grow it long.. H: Then don't cut it W: They say short hair is the fashion these days.. H: Then cut it W: What if... ...
My mate lost a toe and they replaced it with a rubber one. His name is Roberto! ___ England has won the World Hairbrushing Championships! It’s combing home, It’s combing home… ___ It's proving very... ...
Beware of an online survey reputedly from the Magic Circle. They’re all trick questions!___Just had to tell my kids we can’t afford to take them to Disneyland, but I did promise to take lots of... ...
A police officer rings into his station: "I'm at this house sergeant, the one where a woman has shot her husband for walking on the floor that she'd just mopped."
ADULT A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOUR A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL Someone who is fed up with people. CHICKENS The only... ...
That storm Isha is so violent. I phoned the landlord this morning. I said "It's about our roof." He said "What about it?" "We'd like it back!!" ___ I haven’t tried yoga, but I have tried bending over... ...
A waiter places a warm cup in front of the gentleman. The gentleman takes a sip and spits it out. He turns to the waiter and says, “Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!” The waiter, looking... ...
A Yorkshireman's beloved wife passed away. He went to a stonemason to sort out a headstone for her grave. Being a devout man, he decided the inscription should read, 'She was thine'. The... ...
As a trucker stops at a red traffic light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is... ...