The One Time I Hope Boris Is Telling The...
News2 mins ago
Some annoying cold caller guy, phoned me and tried to sell me a luxury coffin.
I told him, "I wouldn't be seen dead in that"...
50 per cent of people who go to watch The Cure end up watching Placebo, but enjoy it just as much.
What's all this nonsense about that 66-year-old Romanian woman being the world's oldest mum? So what? My mum's 97. ________ The saying goes, 'See a penny, pick it up, and all day long you'll have good...
I have won a competition for a years supply of Marmite -- one jar
A primary teacher starts a new job at a school on Mersyside and, trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she is a Liverpool fan. She asks her students to raise...
One evening Erik Ten Hag's phone rings. It's the fire brigade telling him Old Trafford is on fire. "The Cups" shouts Hag. "Save the cups" "Don't worry sir" says the fireman " The flames haven't got to...
A teenage girl come home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me?" "What's that?" asks her mother. "That babies come out of the same place where boys put their willies?"...
I spent yesterday morning building a time machine, so that's four and a half hours of my life I'm definitely getting back.
Not sure why it’s in Jokes because the situation isn’t funny and I don’t want to be told off by Buenchico if I put it in Chatterbank but here it is! https:/
Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site when a slate falls down slicing off Paddy's ear. Murphy finds it and says to Paddy "is this yours Paddy"? "No" says Paddy, "mine has a pencil behind...
Yesterday I went swanning around the town centre.
I hissed at people, and broke a man's arm....
Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing
A man runs into a pet shop and puts a bomb on the counter. 'You have 60 seconds to get out' he says as he runs for the door.
"Oh ***" yells a Tortoise from the back of the shop....
Two Scots, Archie and Jock are discussing Jocks wedding. "Ach it's all going well, I've got everything organised, I've even bought a kilt to be married in." Archie says, "That's braw, what's the...
I'm no good at dwarf impressions, but hey-ho.
..history lesson.
https:/
A man with one leg missing lands a job at a top brewery. A spokesman for the unnamed beer company told reporters "We've put him in charge of the hops."...
The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?" The guy answers, "A scotch please." The bartender hands him the drink and says, "That'll be five pounds," to which the guy replies,...
This morning on the motorway, I looked over to my right and there was a Woman in a brand new BMW doing 75Mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner ! I looked away for a...
The police were hunting a burglar who regularly stole musical instruments.
The guy they stopped denied it was him, but they found the lute on him....
Latest Posts
What On Earth Is An Prime Minister's...
News4 mins ago
ChatterBank5 mins ago
News22 mins ago