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DTCwordfan

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DTCwordfan

Turkey Cooking - Thanksgiving Is Not That Far Away

Go buy a turkey. Take a drink of whisky (scotch). Put turkey in the oven. Take another 2 drinks of whisky. Set the degree at 375 ovens. Take 3 more whiskys of drink. Turn oven the on. Take 4 whisks of...
16:18 Sat 28th Sep 20194 answers, last by Buenchico 22:18 Fri 18th Oct 2019
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DTCwordfan

One For Theland - A Christian On A Hunting Trip...

A Christian goes on a hunting trip... He sits in his tree stand all day and sees nothing. As he climbs out of his deer stand he slips and rolls down a large hill breaking both his legs, losing his...
17:03 Wed 25th Sep 20193 answers, last by Chipchopper 08:33 Thu 26th Sep 2019
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DTCwordfan

Synonym?

There's a word bugging me as to the boo that I am writing. I have just finished a chapter on the various symptoms of dementia and how they can manifest themselves, quite a collection in what can come...
16:25 Mon 23rd Sep 201912 answers, last by sanmac 23:10 Tue 24th Sep 2019
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DTCwordfan

Caution.....

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger...
16:41 Sat 21st Sep 20193 answers, last by Patsy33 17:50 Sat 21st Sep 2019
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DTCwordfan

Bees

[email protected] for it.wait for it__ A man was driving down a Hampshire road and ran out of petrol. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window. The bee said, 'What seems to be...
16:25 Sat 21st Sep 20196 answers, last by murraymints 06:31 Sun 22nd Sep 2019
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DTCwordfan

Heating System?

Oil fired into water-filled radiators. Just testing - upstairs radiators working well, downstairs cold - all radiators bled. the pipes in the boilerhouse are hot - what could be causing the hot water...
15:30 Sat 21st Sep 20196 answers, last by DTCwordfan 17:23 Sat 21st Sep 2019
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DTCwordfan

Breaking News Bbc - Police Lose Missing Solid Gold Toilet...

Maybe this should be in Jokes but give it's on the Beeb News this evening.... Someone broke into the palace and stole Blenheim's solid gold toilet, worth £4.8 million Right now the Oxfordshire police...
21:42 Sat 14th Sep 201916 answers, last by Zacs-Master 13:09 Sun 15th Sep 2019
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DTCwordfan

Wigan Versus Castleford - Rugby League For The Play-Offs

A Castleford rugby league fan is drinking in a Wigan bar, when he gets a call on his mobile phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar,...
18:42 Thu 12th Sep 20195 answers, last by albaqwerty 21:00 Thu 12th Sep 2019
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DTCwordfan

Possibly News As Well - Caption Time

https://www.telegraphindia.com/unsafe/930x523/smart/static.telegraphindia.com/derivative/THE_TELEGRAPH/1704033/16X9/derivative16X91568145412374.jpg The Archbish after one too many in India The Church...
11:29 Wed 11th Sep 201922 answers, last by waterboatman 03:57 Thu 12th Sep 2019
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DTCwordfan

I've Said It All Along...put The Backstop In The North Channel

What Boris has been discussing with Ireland and the DUMPs. Put the Backstop in the North Channel More control over shipped goods Aircraft - well today we have to show ID so what's the difference?...
11:27 Wed 11th Sep 201927 answers, last by New Judge 14:50 Thu 12th Sep 2019
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DTCwordfan

England Versus Italy Rugby

From St James Park well all a bit tense, England (3 penalties), 9, Italy 0 at half time....a bit like Newcastle United, they can't score goals..... Is there something in the soil?...
19:49 Fri 06th Sep 201915 answers, last by DTCwordfan 06:12 Sat 07th Sep 2019
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DTCwordfan

Kids Are Great

I was at a family gathering this weekend, the first we have ever had, the commonality being the paternal grandparents who sired four. Four generations on and nearly 80 of us (inc spouses). This was in...
18:39 Wed 28th Aug 20197 answers, last by Zacs-Master 19:43 Wed 28th Aug 2019
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DTCwordfan

Someone Hasn't Paid Their Advertising Bill?

Otherwise why has Headingley covered up the lower part of the Dickie Bird clock.....? It's rather pathetic, me thinks and the patch looks messy. After all Philip Stoner, the jeweller, had commissioned...
17:59 Thu 22nd Aug 20192 answers, last by Buenchico 19:29 Thu 22nd Aug 2019
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DTCwordfan

Time For A Really Bad Pun....nearly Good Enough For Edinburgh

Someone banged into me in the bakery, smashing my pies & pasties. Serves me right for putting all my Greggs in one basket....
17:24 Mon 19th Aug 20198 answers, last by Patsy33 10:49 Tue 20th Aug 2019
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DTCwordfan

Can Somebody Brief Me As To Why There Will Be A Fuel Shortage?

Other than our own production, our crude oil comes from in descend order of volume Norway Nigeria Algeria USA Russia Libya Saudi Arabia The EU countries (80% of which The Neths and Denmark)account for...
12:55 Mon 19th Aug 201928 answers, last by tonyav 19:33 Mon 19th Aug 2019
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DTCwordfan

Crab Tennis Match

I hear that the Crab Underwater Tennis Championships have reached the final stage for the Tidal. The two contestants, crabs in the form of Searena Krilliams and Clammy McWreckor Rumour has it there...
17:40 Thu 15th Aug 20192 answers, last by Spicerack 17:49 Thu 15th Aug 2019
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DTCwordfan

Japanese Time

I've done a lot of research on 19th Century Japanese Nobility history in recent years and written a major paper on the subject for my PhD thesis. I can samurais it for ABers - if you so wish.......
20:47 Mon 29th Jul 20191 answer, last by JimF 20:51 Mon 29th Jul 2019
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DTCwordfan

Not Sure If Jokes Or News - As It's Probably True.

A Czech spy, an IRA sympathiser, a Palestinian supporter, a religious bigot and a racist go into a pub. The barman says, "What drink do you want tonight, Mr. Corbyn?"...
16:52 Mon 29th Jul 20194 answers, last by DTCwordfan 17:42 Mon 29th Jul 2019
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DTCwordfan

Water 2

After the water thread as to Ireland and Gness/Sunny D, hope Tonyav in Watersall and others in the Black Country are ok as to the floods.... would't want to be drinking that H2O.....
21:14 Sun 28th Jul 20194 answers, last by tonyav 21:40 Sun 28th Jul 2019
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DTCwordfan

One For Sqad - Or Anybody Who Has Had 'trigger Finger'

Middle finger, right hand, locking up, usually first thing in the morning and, more recently, stiff at other times of the day - 'stenosing tenosynovitis' as I believe it is called. Any advice on...
20:13 Sat 27th Jul 20198 answers, last by DTCwordfan 21:48 Sat 27th Jul 2019

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